He reached out his hand to me. I could tell he wanted to say something.
But I turned a cold shoulder away from my husband, pulled the blanket to my chin and we lay there in the tension of things unsaid.
I was angry and he knew it.
It wasn’t even a big thing. But I seem to have the knack for making it more than it is. And then I have a mountain of smalls looming over me. And I don’t know how to scale it or where to start.
Oh, marriage is fun.
The next day I extended an olive branch and he left it in my hand, both of us holding onto anything but peace.
I couldn’t blame him for not taking it. But I did.
I hate this place–the one where we try so hard to win and we both end up losing.
There wasn’t a war, or even a battle. We didn’t yell or scream. We just fell into the routine of two busy people living and doing and missing each other in passing.
After 20 years of marriage, you would think we would be bigger or better. But we are willful people and some days selfishness wins. And we both lose.
We were both feeling the stress of being out-of-sync. Travel and busy schedules, parenting and really, just the pressure of life, quickly turned our normally easy-going union into rhythmless living. It began to take a toll.
More was being unsaid then said.
It’s an ugly cycle that we have to interrupt. If we don’t, the chasm grows and more things stand between us. From this view, I could see what stands in the middle of so many marriages.
I miss you.
He walked towards me and I walked towards him. We met in the middle.
No fingers pointed. No blaming. No reminding or pouting.
I’m sorry goes a long way. So does thank you.
We all have off seasons in our marriage. It’s the ebb and flow of any union. But we can turn our hit and miss days into connected ones when we lay down our pride and selfishness.
Take a step and meet him halfway. It covers a lot of distance.