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The Key to a Good Marriage {Free Printable}

If I could go back and talk to the young wide-eyed girl who thought she knew it all, this is what I’d say:

Dear 22 year old me,

You are about to get married. You don’t have a clue. He’s going to be your soul mate. He’s going to disappoint you. Ultimately, he’s going to teach you how to love.

There are going to be some bumps along the way . There will even be a mountain or two. You will survive. You don’t need more money or more stuff. You need to live every day without regret, love hard, risk more, laugh until it hurts and for pete’s sake, stop cutting your hair so short.

Most of all, be a forgiver.  Because you keep the Great Forgiver pretty busy.

Love,

39 year old me

It’s the best marriage advice I can offer-whether you’re just starting out in your marriage journey or you’ve grown old together: forgive as you’ve been forgiven.

You won’t regret it.


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Enjoy this {free} 8×10 Print vdayprintable

Kristen
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Old Married People {Giveaway}

I remember when my parents were our age.

Forty-one. Thirty-nine.

I thought they were so old.

What did I know?

When my husband smiles, his eyes crinkle. I see his father.

I have my mother’s hands.

Both our parents inching towards their golden anniversary. Fifty years.

It’s a mantle we wear proudly.

He still closes the door behind me in the closet and kisses my neck.

But his socks are still on the floor.

I love that guy anyway.

He sips coffee, tea for me. We write love notes. We grow old together.

For the Mr & Mrs in  your life, DaySpring is giving away FIVE sets of the following to FIVE of my readers today:

[Each set includes: Mr. & Mrs. Mugs, Mr. & Mrs. Memo Pads, I Love You With All My Heart-Sticky Note Set, Mr. Love Notes]

Leave an answer to this question as your entry: How long have you been a Mr & Mrs? 

This giveaway will end on Thursday.

Kristen
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100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock


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  1. Write him letters
  2. Go on regular date nights
  3. Write his name on lipstick on the bathroom mirror
  4. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
  5. Pray together
  6. Hide notes in secret places
  7. Go to bed at the same time
  8. Listen to music together-share earbuds
  9. Send him on a scavenger hunt in the house
  10. Buy him gifts he will love
  11. Hide a treat in his glovebox or desk at work
  12. Read the Bible together
  13. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
  14. Praise your spouse to other people
  15. Let them overhear you
  16. Read a marriage devotional
  17. Porn-proof your home
  18. Be best friends
  19. Sleep in his t-shirts
  20. Look to him to make the big decisions
  21. Let her make the small ones
  22. Don’t nag him
  23. Put down the seat, pick up your socks for her
  24. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
  25. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
  26. Fight naked
  27. Tell him you like him
  28. Receive his compliments
  29. Pick your battles
  30. Show her you love her and tell him you respect him
  31. Go away together at least once a year
  32. Frame your wedding vows
  33. Her: Read For Women Only
  34. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
  35. Kiss in front of your kids
  36. Make his favorite dessert
  37. Have pictures of just the two of you made
  38. Make sex a priority
  39. Spend time apart occasionally
  40. Learn to enjoy something he loves
  41. Surprise each other
  42. Meet him at the door
  43. Dreamstorm
  44. Text each other from across the room
  45. Be accountable to each other
  46. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
  47. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him
  48. Be affectionate
  49. Him: Read For Men Only
  50. Leave work and come home early
  51. Wash, vacuum her car. Keep it full of gas.
  52. Give each other romantic coupons
  53. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
  54. Compliment each other
  55. Touch your spouse several times throughout the day
  56. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
  57. Let each other sleep in
  58. Be spontaneous!
  59. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
  60. Kiss every day
  61. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
  62. Forgive quickly
  63. Be honest.
  64. But not hurtful
  65. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
  66. Look your best as often as you can
  67. Guard your marriage
  68. Get out of debt (and stay out)
  69. Laugh together
  70. Have a date night in
  71. When your together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
  72. Talk about your favorite memories together
  73. Tell him he’s sexy just because
  74. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
  75. Make him breakfast in bed
  76. Do her chores for her
  77. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
  78. Read a book out loud together
  79. Dance together-soft music (alone) or rocking music with the kids
  80. Bring her/him a favorite drink during the middle of the day
  81. Exercise together-hikes, bike riding, etc
  82. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment
  83. Tell him a secret he doesn’t know about you
  84. Thank your spouse just because, often
  85. Sit on the same side of a booth at a restaurant
  86. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
  87. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
  88. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
  89. Teach your kids about marriage
  90. Stop what you’re doing, look them in the eye and listen to their answer
  91. Create art together
  92. Support each other’s goals
  93. Know when to talk and when to hush
  94. Consider counseling (even if there’s not conflict)
  95. Doodle his name
  96. Bring her flowers (even when she says they are too expensive)
  97. Wear something he loves
  98. Share furniture-sit in his lap
  99. Fight for your marriage
  100. Remember your spouse rocks-even when they don’t

Does your spouse rock?  Do you have the shirt to prove it? Get yours here.

Kristen
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I Respect Him, He Loves Me {Giveaway}

I  discovered the meaning of troubleshooting the other day.

For hours, I had been knee-deep in printer cords and computer cables, battling a broken modem and a customer service rep, all while trying to print 500 labels with an offline printer.

I was in trouble and I wanted to shoot something.

I’ll be honest: I don’t handle moments like these well. I get frustrated, irritable and whiny.

That’s about the time my  husband walked thru the door. He took one look at the mess (me, not the technology) and went to work.

In less the thirty minutes, he had our Internet back up and everything working perfectly. When he handed me the neat pile of printed labels, I hugged him deeply.

I’m not gonna lie: I was very attracted to him.

He came in from work exhausted from a long day. But he served me because he loves me. It was the single most sexiest moment of the week.

And I simply returned the favor by telling him so. Respecting our hubbies enough to tell them when they bless us is only gonna make him want to love you more.

Today, in honor of Love & Respect, one winner will receive a Union28 Valentine’s package that includes:

  • Women’s “I Respect My Husband” Tee (Fitted or Non-fitted Short Sleeve or Fitted Long Sleeve) pictured above
  • Men’s “I Love My Wife” Tee (V-neck or Crew Neck)
  • 4-pack of “You Rock” Love Notes (blank inside)

Union28 would also like to give a Valentine’s gift to Mercy House: Union28 will give 10% of the sales from all orders received from the WeAreThatFamily community between Thursday, FEB 2 & Saturday, FEB 8th – simply mention “Mercy House” in the comments area during checkout.

To be entered, tell me how you show your spouse love and/or respect.

Get 15% off your order today with this coupon code: U28TFK15

P.S. what’s your favorite shirt??

UPDATED with WINNER – Congratulations to Shaunta (comment 77)

Kristen
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This Is Why I’ll Never Be The Fun Parent

See? I told you. I’m just not a hill-rolling-barely-dodging-dog-poop kind of girl. Ya know?
Who’s the fun parent in your house?

Kristen
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Meant to Be

We lay tangled under a heap of quilts, enjoying the deep contentment of comfortable love.

I can hear his even-breathing, feel the weight of his protective arm. But I’m not sleeping. I keep thinking about the comment he left on a blog, a comment about me. And I think of the love letter that is hidden in the Mr & Mrs Journal I’m giving him. It’s  for his eyes only.

It’s hard not to adore this man who lives counter-cultural to make our dreams come true. Even when the dreams are God-sized and terrifying.

He knows me well enough to figure out the one Christmas gift I’m giving him. He senses when the stress builds and is the first to suggest I step away. He eases my mom guilt, helping in every area.  He is the lover of my soul. A friend like no other. This man.

My husband.

Seventeen Christmas seasons ago I wore white. I walked the aisle towards twinkling Christmas lights in our December wedding, towards my future.

He surprised me with a song on my wedding day. He crooned “Meant to Be” and tears dripped off my chin.

We were so young. We have grown together and I don’t know where he ends and I begin anymore.

Nothing about our marriage is perfect. We have good days and not-so-good days. Yesterday we argued over a computer cord. Today we made up. Ooo la la.

But the 17 years of ups and downs have given us this: today. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I smile-wide in the moonlight. He must sense the contentment. Joy.

He pulls me close, hot breath on my neck. I snuggle in deeper and relax against him. I can’t wait for him to read my anniversary love letter. We have a lot to celebrate.

————————

In honor of 17 years (!) Dayspring is offering my readers 50% off any item in their Mr. & Mrs. – Love Collection Set with the code: love50. Nothing screams hot monogamy like a journal you pass back and forth or awesome coupons or cute romantic mugs!

Kristen
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Me & My Best Friend

oh, my. I love this man.

And even better: I like him.

We had a date at Starbucks on Friday night. We pushed two big, comfy chairs together and pretended we were the only people in the room. With a notepad and laptop, we wrote down our dreams.

Not so much our goals, but the visions we’re afraid to give voice to- we wrote those down.

My hubby called it a dreamstorming session. I like that. Because if it had been a brainstorming session, my brain would have told me our dreams are too big, impossible.

People like me don’t do this well-envision things that I can’t figure out or control.

But it felt good to say it out loud to each other.

To write them down.

We sense change coming. It’s scary. It’s exciting.

It’s an opportunity to trust the unseen hand that guides us.

There’s a sweet intimacy that comes when you acknowledge your secret dreams to your best friend.

You should try it sometime.

Source: etsy.com via lannerart on Pinterest

 

P.S.  Two teen boys who badly needed haircuts and belts, showed up with guitars and sang loudly about two feet away from us. Everybody has a dream, some squeakier than others.

Kristen
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Now, That’s Romantic!

I don’t need roses.

I don’t need chocolate.

Okay, maybe, I need a little chocolate.

But I don’t need typical romance from my man.

When he does small things that catch me off-guard, things that make me feel cared for, I swoon.

photo credit

Either I’m getting old or we’re becoming THAT couple, but I fall helplessly in love all over again, when he:

  • fills my car up with gasoline
  • programs my GPS before I head to a new address
  • takes out the trash, without a reminder
  • cleans up the kitchen just because
  • takes off his outer shirt during the movies because I’m freezing!
  • shops for me (he has great taste)
  • brings me a sweet tea in the middle of the day
  • sends me to Target or Starbucks because he knows I need to be alone
  • refolds all the towels in the linen closet (just plain sexy)

How about you? When do you feel the most loved?

Kristen
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41 Reasons

On why I love him:

  1. He pushes me to dream.
  2. He lives on the edge
  3. He is a great employee
  4. He won’t let me manipulate him
  5. He takes care of me
  6. He believes in me
  7. He takes care of himself
  8. He still wants me
  9. He’s cute
  10. He would do anything for me (picture to prove it)
  11. He works hard
  12. He danced in Africa
  13. He takes the trash out
  14. He loads the dishwasher (my least favorite chore)
  15. He tickles the kids
  16. He has integrity
  17. He still has a lot of little boy in him
  18. He fought the battle of his life and won
  19. He helps me
  20. He rubs my aching neck
  21. He holds our kids
  22. He loves God
  23. He is a family man
  24. He is silly
  25. He lives counter-cultural
  26. He has a sexy voice
  27. He makes me laugh
  28. He still kisses me everyday
  29. He makes every kid feel special
  30. He listens to me
  31. He admits when he’s wrong
  32. He runs his hands thru my hair to help me sleep
  33. He loves the outdoors
  34. He takes our kids on dates
  35. He is compassionate
  36. He is an amazing dad
  37. He points our family towards God
  38. He is a “cup half full” kind of guy
  39. He is a father to the fatherless
  40. He is mine
  41. Did I mention he danced in Africa?

Happy 41st birthday to the best man I know!

What do you love about your man?

Kristen
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Kiss Your Spouse Today! {Giveaway}

**Updated with winners**

Here are your random numbers:

41	5	

Timestamp: 2011-08-18 19:19:18 UTC

Congrats to readers AmyKay and Michelle!

 

I’m one of those old married people.

When people hear we’ve been married nearly 17 years (!) they are surprised–not so much that we made it that far, more that we are getting old, I think.

My hubby and 11 year old had a lot of time to talk the other day in the car. Since my hunk of man is also a great dad, he’s been reading up on how to communicate better with tweens and learned that asking questions is a great tactic.

So, that’s what he did. They talked a lot with him asking, her answering.

One of his questions: What do you think of me and mom’s marriage?

One of her answers: It’s good. (and she smiled, really big)

And then she added: But y’all kiss way too much. (said with a giggle and pride)

Which is exactly the answer old married people want to hear from their kiddos.

So, my tip: kiss often, in-front of your kids! They will act grossed-out, but deep down, they need to see it.

It helps if you’re wearing one of my favorite shirts to get you in the mood! My friends at Union28 sent me this lovely shirt last week.

I wore it to Chick Fil A. The owner came over to say hi (at this point in my life, I just have to claim the fact that I’m a like Norm on Cheers at my local chicken eatery). He commented on shirt. “That is really nice of you to wear those words on your shirt.”

It made me happy.  And my hubby might have gotten kissed that day!

Union28 is giving away TWO $25 gift certificates today to two lucky readers!

We are THAT family readers can also use this code U28WATF15 for 15% off any Union28.net merchandise order.– it’s valid 8/16 – 9/30 to buy a favorite shirt.

Here’s another new one I love:

This giveaway ends Thursday.

Kristen
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What I Want My Kids to Know About Marriage

She is only four.

But don’t let her youth fool you: she knows exactly what she wants.

And it happens to be my husband.


In her precocious manner my little girl stated: “I’ve decided to marry Daddy.”

“You will have to share.”

The random statement caught me off guard, but didn’t surprise me. She’s a Daddy’s Girl and strong-willed: a force to be reckoned with most days. But she was completely serious. She started talking about a wedding and instead of calling him Daddy, she started calling him Husband, referring to herself as Wife.

It was hysterical.

My husband was smitten and beaming. I was the Other Woman.

I watched her closely and what I saw moved me. My little girl was role playing me. Other than sounding a bit too bossy (I get it naturally), she was mimicking the way I love my man.

He was wooing his little girl and teaching her what to wait for in a husband.

Our kids our watching our marriages. They are learning from us, whether or not we realize we’re teaching them.

What I want my kids to learn from us:

  • Sometimes married people argue, just like sometimes siblings argue: My kids get this because arguing is how they work things out. It’s *how* you argue that matters. No name-calling, putting down, meanness allowed.
  • Sometimes married people want to be alone: time away for a date night or a weekend, isn’t just to get away from kids, it’s to strengthen our marriage. I want my kids to want us to get away because we come back more united.
  • Sometimes married people kiss and hug: I don’t ever want my kids to wonder if we like each other. I want them to catch us stealing kisses and greeting each other with deep embraces. I catch them from the corner of my eye and I see confidence on their faces.
  • Sometimes married people need a time out: when we reach a place where we can’t agree together or the tension or outside pressure is great, sometimes we just need to step away, cool off and get a better perspective. But we will always come back to each other.

Your kids are watching your marriage, too. Show them what you want, even if you haven’t attained it.

Kristen
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30 Day Challenge for Wives {Giveaway}

*Updated with Winners* Congrats to Kat and reader (no blog) Jessica! Everyone else, take advantage of this great discount:

P.S. If you want to just shop, use this code:  U28WATF15

It’s good for 15% off any order and is valid thru MAY 31st.

—————————————–

Every time I write about marriage, I get emails. Confessionals, prayer requests, heartbreaking stories and testimonies of second chances.

People are still reading our marriage testimony series daily and I could write a book about it. Maybe I will someday.

My marriage is far from being perfect. Some days we don’t even tip the scales to a good marriage. But we are committed for life and have no plans to stop trying and fighting for the marriage we really want.

I’m a better mom, daughter, person when my marriage is doing well.

Unknown to my hubby, I’ve decided to take the 30 Day Challenge because I have the ability to have a better marriage. We are living in a stressful environment right now and I tend to snap and bite his head off more in the tension. So, I definitely need it.

What is the 30 Day Challenge? …for the next 30 days:
* You can’t say anything negative about your husband …to your husband…or to anyone else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband…to your husband…and to someone else, about your husband!

Day One:
“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Prov. 31:11-12

To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for “choosing you” above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.

One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a “wake up call” that he’ll never forget-a big “I love you” and an “I’m so glad I’m your wife!”

You can read ideas and encouragement for all thirty days here.

I love to partner with Union28 because they truly get the importance of encouragement in marriage. As a fun incentive, everyone who takes the challenge and leaves a comment on today’s post, will be entered to win one of two of these adorable heart tees from Union28 (fitted and non) and also this beautiful marriage worship CD!

P.S. If you want to just shop, use this code:  U28WATF15

It’s good for 15% off any order and is valid thru MAY 31st.

————————-

Related posts:

How to Really Have the Marriage You Want

How to Really Fight for Your Marriage

Are you in? I hope so. And remember, the victory is in the trying.

Kristen
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To Know You

I know your thick, rough hands, scarred with hard work. They steady me.

I know your raspy voice, it drew me in, it holds me still.

I know your love for me, your desire. It makes me beautiful.

I know the heart within that beats for your family, your God. It is my constant.

Finding you all those years ago, was a gift.

But knowing you has been the greatest discovery of my life.

And now, we celebrate sixteen years.

-1 year of discovery

-1 year of living on love

-3 long years of infertility

-1 year of living on faith

-1 year of transition

-3 years where we grew up, apart, back together

-1 year of rebuilding our marriage

-4 years of loving a free man

-almost 1 year in our new God-journey

-16 years, I’ve loved you through it all.

_________________________

How long have YOU been married??

Kristen
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[FORTY] Reasons Why I Love My Man

He’s forty!

I love my soulmate more today than I did when I T.W.I.R.P.E.D. him (the woman is required to pay) more than 16 years ago. (I took him to a place called Trail Dust, where two-stepping is required. I didn’t know how, so he taught me, of course. Who says I’m not smart??)

1. He forgives the way I load the dishwasher even though it drives him crazy.

2. He understands and supports my meaningful relationship with sweet tea.

3. And brings it to me often.

4. He is an amazing dad-and can get his kids riled up right before bedtime like any good father.

5. He sang to me on our wedding day (surprise!) and still sings me love songs in the dark of the night.

6. He still calls me KC (his nickname for me in college).

7. He wears a cowboy hat every time we visit his parents farm.

8. And sometimes chews on a piece of straw from a hay bale.

9. He helps my daughter with math word problems.

10. And forces himself to play video games with our son.

11. He lets the dog sleep in the bed with us sometimes.

12. He works hard at his secular job, even when his heart longs to work for God.

13. Most days he works for God on his secular job.

14. He cleans, I cook.

15. Occasionally, he does both.

16. He reads my blog.

17. He encouraged the writer in me when no one else did.

18. He makes every copper necklace we sell at The Mercy Shop.

19. And loves bending metal.

20. He traveled to Africa with me in spirit and let it wreck his life too.

21. He is a dreamer.

22. And encourages big dreams in me.

23. His heart is made of gold.

24. He is my hero.

25. He eats my cooking.

26. And never compares it to his mothers.

27. He is a nice man.

28. He is a good man.

29. He is mine.

30. He’s not afraid of bugs or snakes or sounds in the middle of the night.

31. He texts and calls just because.

32. He gave Maureen her first father-hug.

33. He leads our family in prayer and Bible reading at dinner.

34. He carries my purse when it’s too heavy.

35. He helped me build The Mercy House site from scratch -a huge endeavor for us!

36. He hands me a tissue when I cry for no reason.

37. He loves His Savior

38. And his family,his life

39. And his wife!

40. He pretends to be surprised when the kids pull out the silly string. And he enjoys it!

    Happy birthday, honey!

    P.S. I have a new post at The Mercy House site with an update from our amazing launch last week.

    Kristen
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    Proof My Hubby is Nicer Than Me

    My oldest child was born with a creative flare. She can turn a shoebox into a condominium for paper dolls with a handmade wardrobe of  dresses, visors and shoes. I’m not kidding.

    Some days I just follow behind her with a rag and a worried look.

    The other day she was bent on painting my face. I have no idea why. She woke up and for eight straight hours asked if she could paint something on my face with craft paint. (Oh, and she started a Christmas list with FACE PAINT being the only thing on it).

    I told her no, all day long. Because y’all, SHE WANTED TO PAINT MY FACE.

    Her daddy walked thru the door and she asked him once.

    I think we all know his answer.

    Because 20 minutes later, he looked like this:

    (The Joker was all her idea. I didn’t even know she knew about The Joker. Obviously, I need to get a handle on my parenting).

    Yes, I agree. FREAKY.

    But hysterical that he went and put on a “costume” to complete the look and then posed for pictures.

    (I live in a circus, y’all).

    My hubby isn’t one to do things halfway. So it’s only natural that he in turn painted my daughter’s face and whipped up a sunset scene from Africa:

    Just an ordinary night at our house.

    I can’t make this stuff up, y’all.

    Kristen
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    WFMW-Ten Ways to Please Your Husband

    I thought I’d get a little personal and meddle in your business this week. Marriage is hard work. Just look at the divorce rate in America. 
    My marriage is better when I am dedicated to making it better.  Here are some simple, yet thoughtful ways to please your husband:
    1. Call him in the middle of the day and thank him for working so hard to provide for your family (even if you work too, men really feel the pressure and responsibility).
    2. Make his favorite meal or wear a favorite outfit.
    3. Hug him a little too long.
    4. Pray for him.
    5. Give him your attention when he gets home from work.
    6. Hide a note in his lunch or in his glovebox.
    7. Text or email him just to say ‘I love you.’
    8. Tell him he’s a great Dad (even if he could be better).
    9. Do something impulsive (email me for suggestions, this is a family blog).
    10. Give him some time to himself. (send him fishing or hunting or send him to the garage without him having to ask).
    Guy readers (all 5 of you), what am I leaving out?

    (I’m celebrating my 2nd year of blogging with a carnival tomorrow. You can read about it here. There will be more than TEN amazing prizes for participants! I hope you’ll join me!)

    What works for you?

    Thank you for joining me for WFMW! {You can read the guidelines here.}

    Have a Works-For-Me Wednesday tip you’d like to share? I’d love for you to join us! Please note that the links will close at 9 pm CST tonight, in order to keep away the spammers!

    Was your link deleted? Click here.

    Mark your calendars: Nov. 4th: “Holiday/Entertaining/Celebration Tips” Edition] Share your best tip for the upcoming holiday season!

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    15. Heather@ JustDoingMyBest – Painted Pumpkins
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    Kristen
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    The Bitter & The Sweet

    To taste bitter is distressing to the mind. It is peculiarly acidic and distasteful to the tongue.
    To taste sweet is pleasing to the mind and feelings. It is delightful to the tongue.
    Bitter and sweet are antonyms. Opposites. 
    Unless they meld together to form the bittersweet.
    Bittersweet is pleasure alloyed with pain.
    Bittersweet is my today.
    We are NOT moving.
    I am tasting the sweetness of staying near my dear family and loving friends for awhile longer, the sweetness of sameness and stability. The endearing sweet taste of comfort.
    I am tasting the bitterness of an adventure I won’t take, the excitement of something new and different that I won’t experience, the bitter taste that comes with watching the man I stood by taste disappointment.
    But that is life, isn’t it? Days of pleasure peppered with pain. Days of pain dotted with moments of pleasure.
    And I embrace both.
    Because I believe God orders my steps. The baby ones that move me small paces and the giant leaps that take my breath away.
    The steps that are both bitter and sweet.
    *bitter, sweet as defined by the Dictionary



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    Kristen
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    The Blood of a Warrior

    I like being on this side of an inside joke.
    Our family has one. It’s hard to explain, you sorta ‘have to be there’ or here. Whatever.
    But one line sends our family into fits of laughter. And you can’t just say it because that’s not funny. You have to scrunch up your face and say it in a barbaric voice. 
    The blood of a warrior.

    Do you know where we heard that line? 

    An obnoxious re-run of Disney’s Hannah Montana two years ago, before we banned the show from our home. Ironic, huh? 
    That one line is the best thing that ever came from that show. You can quote me on that.
    All that to say, we spent a good part of a day last week, hunting down the warrior who left a large trail of blood on our kitchen floor.
    My daughter informed us in a worried voice, “Someone in this house is bleeding!”
    And no one acted surprised (note blog title. ahem).
    I checked toes and fingers, feet and hands, even paws. (I’m pretty sure if my cat wasn’t already scarred for life, he is now. The search insulted him). I followed the trail of blood through the kitchen and into the living room. 
    It led to my hubby. 
    I held out my hand and he produced a foot. Sure enough, it was him.
    Me: “How can you have glass in your foot and an open wound and leave a trail of blood and not even know it?” (And it’s not the first time I’ve asked that question).
    Him: And I quote, “Shoulder Shrug.”
    I cannot tell you how many times this man has dripped blood and not known. I, on the other hand, need a sling for a paper cut. 
    Most of his injuries are acquired while he works on the car, repairs a broken appliance or digs a lost toy from behind a dresser. He nicks a knuckle helping me with a DIY project, scrapes arms climbing trees with a daughter, gashes a leg teaching a son to ride his bike. 
    Most of his injuries occur while he’s serving his family. 
    He is a real man. I am honored to be his wife.
    Today he turns 39. 
    He is our warrior. 
    So, in honor of his day, I asked all three of my children to tell you how we say the blood of a warrior
    (One of them was a little reluctant)
    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmMKIIq5niY]
    Happy birthday, honey. I hope it’s a scream!
    And good luck on the interview!


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    Kristen
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    Stand By Your Man

    I’ve mentioned before that I’m a city girl married to a country boy. My hubby slips into a dashing suit everyday to provide for our family and talks intelligent medical lingo, but he’s really just a hick.
    He taught me how to two-step on our first date. He actually whispered in my ear when I donned my first pair of western jeans “Wrangler butts drive me nuts” and he chews and spits sunflower seeds if he drives more than 30 minutes in the car.
    He’s a good ‘ole boy. (My interpretation: He’s a very fine man).
    For the last three years, every time a position out of city limits opened in his company, he gave me the look. I’ve always had a reason to say no: a challenging pregnancy, a baby on a heart monitor, a need to live very close to my family, a great elementary school, etc.
    My hubby honored my wishes with out regret every time.
    Another opportunity opened a few weeks ago. It was hours from our home in a city I knew nothing about and would be a major move, but still in Texas. I went to my reservoir of excuses and begin assembling them.
    We talked it over for a couple of days, the pros and the cons. At one point, he looked at me and said, “Just say the word [no] and I won’t apply.”
    So, I said yes. I said yes because I don’t want to have that kind of power over my hubby. I don’t want to manipulate our future and miss out on something even more wonderful because I’m afraid. I said yes because it was time for me to stand by my man.
    We prayed for the door to open if it was God’s plan or to shut if we needed to stay put. I knew the job would be a long shot, with dozens applying.
    Today, he has his third interview. It’s been narrowed down to two.
    I don’t know the future.
    We may be putting our house on the market next week. We may be pulling our kids out of school mid-semester. We may live a part: me here, him there. We may have to keep our promise about getting the kids a horse.
    I may be having a mid-life crisis online for your viewing pleasure.
    Or life may just stay exactly the same.
    Either way, I will be relieved and excited about both.
    Because I stood by my man.
    I’ve learned a lot about me over the past 3 weeks in this process:
    • I am not patient.
    • I am comfortable in my life.
    • I have a great support of local friends (Cheryl, Amanda, Karen, Sandi, and Kimmy, Bridget) and of my family.
    • My hubby has better interview skills than I expected!
    (And this is where you encourage me about my uncertain future and tell me everything is going to work out).
    *Updated* His interview was just moved to Monday, also my hubby’s birthday!
    I need a nerve pill.



    Kristen
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    My Hubby Rocks {Even When He Doesn’t}

    So. Sometimes, my hubby irritates me. 
    {WHAT?? Oh, the SHOCK!}
    Yep, it turns out I’m human.
    I hope you’re not too disappointed.
    My hubby and I love each other. We are deeply committed to one another. We’ve faced some harrowing battles in our 15 years and fought against Hell itself to be where we are today.
    We are in a good place. But we still get on each other’s nerves at times and even push one another’s buttons.  
    The other day my hubby made me furious before he left for work. It wasn’t a big deal. It was just one of those little idiosyncrasies. And I was grumpy. Lethal combination.
    Later as I dressed, without thinking, I put on my pink shirt.
    Everywhere I went, people commented. “Wow, you must really love your husband.” “What a great shirt.” Several women even said, “I would never wear a shirt like that. My husband is a jerk.”
    I thought about our rocky morning, laughed at the irony of my thoughtless dressing and thanked God.
    I am not perfect. My spouse isn’t either. But even on the tough days, I can be thankful. 
    There is always something to be grateful about.
    I have a man who loves me. He loves God and our children. 
    He is a hard worker, selfless in so many ways…..
    He rocks. 
    Even when he doesn’t.
    **********************************************
    One of the top searches that leads people to my blog is
    help me love my hubby
    a love letter to my husband
    love wife and husband
    There are so many women living in unfulfilling marriages. I don’t know whether you find yourself content or confused in your marriage today. At some point, you’ve probably been both. 
    Marriage takes hard work. Don’t give up. FIGHT. Woo him. Pray. 
    I truly believe that my marriage isn’t any more remarkable than yours. One day I will tell our story in full. But today, know that it is only by God’s grace that we are thriving. 
    Let me encourage  you to choose love. Choose the road less traveled, the one that doesn’t pick him apart, tear him down, destroying his confidence. 
    Because your hubby rocks. Even when he doesn’t.


    Kristen
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    I May Have Created a Monster

    Well. Who knew that a getaway was exactly what we needed?
    Okay, me. 
    I cannot believe how much my hubby and I crammed into our 2.75 days alone.
    First off, my kids survived and thrived. We are picking up my oldest from camp first thing Thursday morning before heading back to Texas. I know she will be smitten with her own getaway, even though the camp nurse called to tell me she lost her mouth appliance.
    Good thing I missed her so much.
    My mother-in-law survived the toddler and called her a delight.  
    Whew.
    (Because this is the key to another getaway….) Although, I will be the first to admit that it didn’t take our 2 year old 10 minutes to throw a humdinger of a fit. It makes me feel proud that she welcomed us home so vocally.
    And my son didn’t even know we were gone. He filled his days with boy cousins and dirt.
    Our getaway highlights:
    My hubby and I watched THREE movies at a real-live movie theatre. We ate at very kid-unfriendly places. We shopped during nap time. I fell in love (like the rest of the world) with a bunch of vampires (I’m on book 3) and didn’t mind at all that my hubby drove around Tulsa in circles without asking for directions, while I read.  Oh, and my hubby had his first pedicure with me. 
    (I’m pretty sure I’ve created a monster on that last one. He wants to know when we can go again!)
    Oh, and we reignited the spark for at least another 15 years.
    My suggestion for you: If a getaway is completely out of the question for you and your spouse, plan an entire day to getaway. From 9 am to 9 pm on the first day, we discovered something we’d lost along the way:  each other. Our kids demand so much of our attention and we could feel the stress melt away…Make it happen. You’ll be glad you did!
    P.S. There’s a little contest going on over in my forum. Just introduce yourself and you’ll be entered to win a $25 Target gift card. Reply to others and you’ll be entered multiple times!


    Kristen
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    When Words Fail

    For the first time, words fail me.
    I cannot express my love for you with a few measly adjectives.
    I cannot explain my deep respect for you with several crafted sentences.
    I cannot exclaim my joy in having you share my life by just putting some letters together.
    I cannot exaggerate my praise for you as a father to my children in a poem.
    I cannot eloquently describe my heart that beats in rhythm with yours with a pen and paper.


    Words fail me.

    You do not.
    Happy Father’s Day, honey.

    Kristen
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    My Guide to Country Vernacular

    I’m a southern girl.
    I grew up in the heart of Texas and have lived here most of my life. (Except for some missions work in another country= Arkansas.)
    My father raised me saying things like  ”pull my fanger” and let’s go “wersh the car.” My Mom brought us up always  ’fixin to go somewhere’. 
    So, yes, you could call us Upper Class.
    The South is a good place to be raised (except for the pulling of the finger part).
    But I married a man who was raised in the country.
    Turns out there’s a big difference between southern and country.
    A dictionary would have been very helpful. But I’ve had to create my own in order to communicate with my darling man:

    six one half a dozen the other-things are pretty much equal


    dinner-lunch

    supper-dinner

    spell me-take over for me

    yard bird-chicken

    fish or cut bait-hush and make a choice

    a coon’s age-a long time

    chewin the fat-catching up and talking about nothing

    plum wore out-tired

    like white on rice-sticks together

    he’s happier than a dog layin’ under a bread wagon-now that’s happy!

    spit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up faster-wishful thinking

    it’s comin’ up a cloud- it’s going to rain

    So, if I ask my hubby how his parents are doing when he gets off the phone with them, I might hear something like this:
    “I haven’t talked to them in a coon’s age. My Mom says thinking I’ll call her is like spittin’ in one hand and wishin’ in the other. But now, she’s happier than a dog layin’ under a bread wagon! We just chewed the fat. They are fryin’ yard bird for dinner. They were working in the garden but it’s comin’ up a cloud. My dad was glad for the rain because he’s been at it like white on rice. I know he must feel like he’s plum wore out.”
    See what I mean?
    I know there’s a lot more to the world than just the South and the Country, what are some of the sayings from around your parts?
    Because I’m wondering if things are six half a dozen or the other………………..
    Kristen
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    Riddle Me

    I have a riddle for you:

    What do you call a man who entertains his toddler with her blankie in his back pocket for safe-keeping, while you shop in an all-girl store with your 9 year old who wants to spend her birthday money on a fancee dress like the one you bought for Blissdom this weekend?
    Answer: Just plain ol’ sexy.
    P.S. I’ll be on my way to Nashville very soon. Does this outfit make my butt look nervous? 
    You can follow my social anxiety on Twitter.

    Kristen
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    Guess What I Started Today?

    S.W.A.K.
    Click the button to read more:
    View Demo
    Kristen
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    S.W.A.K.

     

    My hubby and I have been married 14 years.
    We have three children.
    I think we have a great marriage. We communicate well. We fight fair.
    But I want it to be even better.
    And it starts with me.
    Busy schedules, demanding children, job pressures and selfishness gives our marriage a beating. And we have to fight to keep it healthy, to keep it passionate.
    I entered this New Year wanting to initiate more time for us. I want to capture moments to remind him that before all of this, there was just us. The two of us.
    I was flipping through January’s Woman’s Day Magazine and a title caught my attention “Lock Lips with Your Husband.”
    Reading the blurb, I learned that there is an actual chemical released when  you kiss called The Cuddle Chemical. It produces a euphoric feeling.  And an unplanned passionate kiss increases the chemical.
    Now, let’s be honest. I kiss my hubby everyday. A peck here. A smooch there. But a knock-his-socks off K-I-S-S? Well, there’s dinner and a toddler pulling on my leg, a ringing phone, and endless homework. And not to mention the utter exhaustion I feel at the end of the day.
    Well. You know. It’s hard
    So, besides entering the marriage challenge at The Diaper Diaries, (go check it out, it’s not too late to join and it’s off to a great start)

    I’m issuing my own personal Kiss Challenge for myself. For 30 days, starting Feb. 1st, I’m planning to passionately lock lips with my hubby.  To block out all distractions for a few minutes and lay one on him.
    I think just this one simple act will speak volumes to my man.
    {You can secretly join in too if you up to some serious smooches}
    The days leading up to Valentine’s Day (Feb. 11-13), I will be having a little S.W.A.K. carnival. I want you to link up a post honoring your hubby anytime during those three days. It can be how you met, your first kiss, what you’re doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day, or about your own personal Kiss Challenge. 
    For several days, I will be sharing some of my marriage secrets, my fau paxs and what I’ve learned.
    Grab the button and share it with your readers.  
    You might also want to stock up on some chap stick. I’m just sayin’.
    P.S. I’m planning on giving away some helpful marriage books and items (you have to link up at carnival to be eligible) and would love to give away some Valentine’s inspired gifts during the carnival. If you have a store and have something that speaks volumes of love, email me and I’ll feature your store during the carnival. *UPDATE* I have 16 door prizes so far (including a gift certificate for $200!) So, keep them coming! 
    Tell me what you think….can we join together {on Valentine’s Day} to honor our hubbies in some way?
    You DO NOT have to join the Kiss Challenge to link up to the Valentine’s Day carnival!
    Food for the Soul:
    Song of Solomon 1:16 “[ Beloved ] How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.”

     

    >


     

    Kristen
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    The Letter

    Today is my 14th wedding anniversary.

    And guess what I got from my hubby?
    A letter.

    And it came in this:
    When I saw my name engraved on the box, I burst into tears.
    I knew my hubby had been reading Letters from Dad, a book that encourages and teaches fathers the importance of writing letters and leaving a legacy for their children thru the written word.
    The author encourages fathers to start the tradition by first, writing a letter to their wife.
    And unbeknownst to me, that’s what my hubby has been doing by the moonlight on his laptop.
    (Work, ha!)
    I love words. I love writing. I love letters.
    And my new box with it’s precious content moved me deeply. (And it will contain all future letters!)


    My Kristen,

              There is something distinctly you that resonates deep within my soul.  It is your character.  Your confidence.  Your purity.

             My distant memories of you at Southwestern ring true to your soft, strong personality.  You were like no one else.  Your confident, quiet stare screamed purpose, conviction and integrity.  Many of the people we brushed shoulders with, both male and female, were less than genuine in both their interpersonal behavior and their walk with Christ.  It was like the difference between Diet Coke and the real thing.  Five minutes wasted with one of these individuals quickly revealed emptiness.

            
    You, however,…what a breath of clean fresh oxygen.  The hours spent playing cards, driving to church, and sitting on the porch swing at Collins Hall seemed like mere minutes.  There was something about you that drew me to you.  Before I knew that I loved you, my soul loved you.

    You were my princess!

             Foolish immaturity allowed you to slip through my grasp.  It’s dumbfounding, my inability to see the treasure that was standing before me.  Thankfully, providence could not be denied.

             I remember the moment I realized I was deeply in love with you.  We weren’t seeing each other.  We had never kissed.  It was a night in early June of 1994 and I left a message on your answering machine.  My heart was pounding so hard, I could barely leave a message to tell you that I was thinking of you.  (Really, I was longing for you.)  My deepest fantasy was that you too were in love with me.  How could I have ever known that this fantasy would come to life?  

             On December 17, 1994, I married my best friend.  True to character you presented yourself to me, a spotless bride.

             Though the past fourteen years have shaped and molded the both of us, the core of who you were then is still intact today.  Your pristine beauty, integrity, and pure love are the qualities that are infused within me.

    Outstanding Mother

    Purposeful Homemaker

    Servant of God

    Constant Companion

    Faithful Friend

    Kindred Spirit

    Beautiful Soul

    Proverbs 31:28-29  says this about you,

    Her children arise and call her blessed;   her husband also, and he praises her:  

    “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

             You are woven and intertwined in the deepest parts of my flesh, mind, spirit, and soul.  To breathe, is to love you.

    Happy Fourteenth Anniversary 

    And this is the letter I wrote to him: (I might add, it pales in comparison)
    Dear Hubby, 
    Fourteen years ago we walked down the aisle of an ugly church (I never got over the burnt orange pews). 
    We were young. Nervous. Naive and crazy enough to get married on my Christmas break from teaching the first grade.  
    Two days before my 22nd birthday.
    You were a Youth Pastor. Remember when we drove off in my highly-decorated and oh-so-offensive car?
    I can still remember the look on the Pastor’s face with the condoms dangling from the muffler.
    My brother had quite the sense of humor.
    Ahem.
    And I still feel bad about the piles of birdseed we dumped from our underwear in the restrooms of Dairy Queen.
    But this is our week.
    Our busy, crazy, expensive week.
    Who knew 2 out of 3 children would also be born during the hectic holiday season? 
    This is a busy week for us, but I wanted to pause and tell you that if I could change anything, I wouldn’t.
    Not a thing.
    Because even though we’ve faced some tough challenges, we are in this place today because of those difficulties.

    And though these are trite words, I’ve never meant them more than I do today.
    I love you. Happy Anniversary.
    Don’t plan anything for Friday night, I’ve found a new unsuspecting babysitter.
    And, I found 14 more images of me giving you that look loaded on my Mac this morning.
    I thought I’d include it in your letter.  Because you know what it means.

    Let’s put the camera away, k?
    The end.

    Visit The Glamorous Life to be a part of blog proposal history!

    Kristen
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    A Gift that Tastes Like Chicken

    I’ve told y’all all about my good man.

    He’s not perfect. And we’ve had our fair share of Potato Soup fights. 
    (Our first fight ever was over potato soup. He liked my recipe so much, he kept going back to refill his bowl. I whined about not having any left from the double batch for lunch the next day, so he dumped the whole bowl in the trash. The fight ensued…)
    (Yes, I won that fight!)
    But fourteen years later, we are still best friends and I deeply respect him.
    During the week, he spends a lot of time in his car driving to doctor’s offices. He’s a Pharmaceutical Rep and as a part of his job he provides lunch for the clinics.  
    One area of town, about 20 minutes from our house, is a lower-income area. There are homeless people under every overpass.
    One day, my hubby rolled down his window and offered his own lunch to a homeless man.
    He did it again the next day.
    And again the next week. 
    He prayed with one desperate lady and encouraged a sad man.
    And now on a regular basis, he pauses during his busy day, to make someone else’s. I was so proud.  I told my kids about it.
    Do you know what they said?
    “Take us, Dad. We want to feed them too.”
    And so we did. On Saturday.  It was our One Day to Give for November.
    We filled up two sacks with Chick Fil A chicken biscuits and we prayed. (And yes, I did get a sweet tea, just in case you were wondering.)
    As one person after another came to our car window, I watched my children’s faces. 

    They looked closely. They listened intently. And they understood why their Dad feeds the homeless.
    One man in particular touched us deeply. My hubby asked if he was hungry. He smiled and said, ‘yes, this is the first food I’ve had in two days.” His joy was evident. And so was his relief. (My hubby handed him my large cup of sweet tea too.  Now that’s sacrifice! Do you think a cup of cold sweet tea given in Jesus’ name counts the same?)
    On our way home, we talked with our kids. I knew this would be a day they would remember. “Do you have any questions?” I asked. 
    “Yes,” my son said. “If that one man is homeless, how did he get gold teeth?”
    I explained that most people don’t start off homeless and we speculated some about his life. I said, “and for some, gold teeth are a fashion statement.”
    My almost 9 year old fashionable daughter said, “Who would want gold teeth?”
    My son raised his hand and said, “Me!”
    During this wonderful week of Thanksgiving, take a moment to give. You’ll be glad you did.
    Kristen
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