Kristen Welch

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Living a Paradox: The Truth About A Contradictory Life

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I’ll never forget the moment of clarity I had in the middle of the pasta aisle. It was the day after I returned from a trip to Kenya with my family. I ran into an old friend next to the spaghetti sauce and she hugged me and said, “so, was your trip to Kenya just ah-maazing!?!?”

She drug out the last word and her voice went up and I was afraid to commit. It’s the tone used to describe a memorable vacation in an exotic place with a lot of exclamation points.

Before I could answer, she said, “I bet you just want to give all this up and move there!”

When I answered, I meant to say was, “Yes, we had some amazing moments. But it was also hard.”

Instead what came out was, “On this trip to Kenya, I convinced one of the teen moms not to run away with her tiny baby, we bathed in a bucket because there was a water shortage and counted the hours until we boarded the plane. Oh, and I saw a man die in the middle of the road.”

She couldn’t grab her noodles fast enough.

I was left standing in the pasta aisle thinking don’t make me pick a favorite place. I can love America and Kenya, while I simultaneously dislike certain things about both places. I can do both even though lately it feels like our culture is trying desperately to squeeze us all into a polarizing box.

I live a paradox and you know what? That’s okay.

A couple of weeks ago, I was scrolling on Instagram and stopped when I saw Jessica Honneger’s selfie and a sign that read “Things I can do at the exact same time: Be curvy + Be healthy; Be a teacher + a CEO; Be content + healthy; Shop Fair Trade + Shop Target; Be Scared + Be Brave.”
I loved her list and so did a lot of other people. So, here’s my unfinished list of contradictions:
  1. I can love sweet tea and Keto (loving them at the same time might make one ineffective).
  2. I can not be a cat lover but love the cat that became my college daughter’s roommate
  3. I can protect my immune-compromised kid and let my other kids do high-risk activities.
  4. I can be pro-life and not vote Republican.
  5. I can love immigrants and refugees and not vote Democratic.
  6. I can be politically homeless and love my country.
  7. I can run a non-profit and also have no idea what I’m doing some days.
  8. I can be a storyteller but not a public speaker.
  9. I can choose to wear a mask if it means others around me feel protected even if I’m not convinced of all the science around it.
  10. I can find new hobbies and passions and still binge-watch Netflix.
  11. I can put up boundaries for toxic people and still fiercely love them.
  12. I can see behind the veil of conspiracy theories while I also believe evil is at work in our world.
  13. I can believe in the absolute truth of the Bible and still love my neighbors who don’t.
  14. I can love Muslims and be in relationships with them and not try to “convert” them.
  15. I can anxiously wait for the return of Jesus and also live every day to the fullest.
  16. I can hate recording videos for Mercy House and also look forward to hosting Facebook lives sales for Mercy House.
  17. I can be a smart intelligent woman who also admits I don’t have all the answers.

Friends, let’s refuse to be labeled. We don’t belong in a box!

5 Questions to Ask Kids about a COVID School Year

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guest post by Janel Breitenstein Last week I joined the ranks of those with weighty personal loss from COVID—and 2020, the Year with No End. There’s a lot of talk of loss this year, so I won’t add mine to your pile just yet. But we also chatted around the table last night about the loss of youth group this summer; the loss of full weeks of summer camp. And now, nearly all extra-curriculars cancelled. I’ve also written you before about helping kids turn suffering into praise. So as we head ... Read More

The Big Lesson of The Year

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I knew what was coming. The lump formed in my throat long before I heard the "Welcome Home" chant of the mask-covered students waving arms and signs in front of my son's college dorm. I had been here before with my daughter. This is it, I thought as the students escorted my son away with his belongings and left me crying in the car I was told to park. My next thought was they lied. Whoever told me launching my babies into the world gets easier wasn't tell the truth. The day before we ... Read More

Parenting in the Year of Corona

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I've been writing in this space for nearly 13 years now. I've written thousands of blog posts and hundreds of thousands of words... including many on why I think having dinner together as a family is critical. COVID-19 has given us unlimited time to test this theory. I won't lie--our family dinners take on this pattern: Prepping. Cooking (usually with a helper). Eating. Discussing (politics, immigration, the virus, masks, the future, the hope and hopelessness we felt). Arguing about one of ... Read More

The Ministry of Disappointment

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Looking back on this challenging year, one word sums up 2020 for my family: disappointment. It was the year we canceled everything: school, church, camps, summer jobs, eating in restaurants, even weekly trips to Target. Today, we are still feeling the impact of this difficult season. As a parent, I have felt completely helpless in helping my children process their loss. I can’t stop the waves of discouragement. My kids are in various seasons of life, from college to junior high, but we have all ... Read More

Ep. 29 | Permission to Grieve- Part 2

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Friends, this is my last podcast episode for the "season." I'm taking a break this summer and I hope you'll tune in for more this episodes this fall. Here's an expert: Today, you might not be okay. You might be looking at a scary diagnosis, experiencing a financial disaster, or struggling with a wayward child. You might be facing a mountain of sadness or impossibility. You might be walking through a valley of despair. You might not even know why you aren’t okay. At these moments, we do ... Read More

When Your Soul is Starving

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Guest post by Janel Breitenstein I spoke to two women this week—women I would describe as hungry. Both were choosing tough situations: not situations where they needed to endure, but choices that twanged my heart like a violin string. Choices whose destination would be obvious if they weren’t within them. I found myself wordless. My friends seemed desperate for a safe embrace from me. For acceptance. But my head clanged with warning. Y’know those situations where you wonder if you’ll ... Read More

A Prayer for a Summer in the Middle of a Pandemic

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Dear God, Spring brought a storm we didn't expect and even though it filled our lives with torrential rain, we know you still reign. Summer is beginning. We are grateful the sun still shines and that the Son still breaks through our darkest days. And there have been some dark days. School will end without a big celebration, but it's okay because we are learning to recognize joy in the little things. Camps may be canceled, jobs may be uncertain, parents may be going a little ... Read More