It was 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday in January and we were still in bed.
Is there a better way to begin a weekend?
My husband flipped to his side and said, “I’m sorry.”
I stretched and yawned myself awake and that’s when I remembered we’d gone to bed the night before irritated at each other.
It was a stupid little fight. Aren’t they always? It wasn’t really about the price of ski pants (don’t ask). It was simply the result of two thick-headed people who both wanted their way and refused to budge.
We’ve been married 19 years. You’d think we would have moved past this stage–the one where we argue over insignificant things, get mad and pout. And we have in many ways. It happens less often and we get less angry and over it more quickly, but every once in awhile, I want my way more than I want to get along.
“I’m sorry, too,” I whispered.
And then we talked about why we got mad in the first place. It’s always a deeper issue. Most arguments about money are really about fear. Most arguments about parenting boil down to control or the lack of it. But on this particular lazy Saturday morning, the conversation led to a long talk about things we were struggling with personally.
When I reluctantly left the cozy down comforter for a quick shower, I felt like I knew my husband a bit more. I could see the stress and burden he carried more clearly. And I wanted to bless him. He understand why I was on edge and we vowed to love each other better.
That pillow talk wouldn’t have happened without first the struggle. When we can push past our little grievances and irritations and lift the veil of life and circumstances, we can grow together towards God, instead of apart.
Our world used to fix broken things, remember that? Our grandmothers darned socks with holes in them. Our grandfathers rebuilt and repaired damaged things. Our moms superglued little $1 store figurines.
Now we throw things away.
We live in a disposable culture that tosses damaged things because it’s easier. It’s quicker, it doesn’t require hard work or humility.
If your marriage is broken, don’t throw it away.
Fix it.
Take your marriage back and fight for it. Talk. Forgive. Change. Confess. Laugh. Counsel. I understand that not every marriage is repairable. But for those who let little issues become bigger than they should, I urge you to fix what’s broken, instead of starting over.
We don’t do a lot for Valentine’s Day at our house. But we proudly show off our love all year long–there are less repairs that way when the storms of life hit.
While these shirts won’t fix a broken marriage, they are an easy way to get started–new Union28 “My Husband/Wife Rocks” T-shirts!
[Updated with winner, Rachel, random commenter #34]
One couple will receive a his and her shirt and a pair of *ahem* these or these (winner’s choice). Leave a comment if you’d like to win.
Discount Code: Use Code U28LOVE5 at checkout for $5 OFF any Union28.net order of $25 or more. (Does not include Clearance items or Gift Certificate purchases) OFFER VALID THUR February 14, 2014.
Thank you for writing this and being an encouragement.
I love this company and wearing this message on my t-shirts. I would love to win this! Thanks for the encouragement to fix our marriage and not throw it away.
Thanks for sharing honestly. It is such an encouragement to know others struggle to keep things mended when so many people don’t want to show their broken and mended places.
Wonderfully said- thanks for the post!
Id love to win these shirts! Thank you for sharing your gifts through writing and encouraging others.
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I’m sure that you don’t get many guys comments, but my wife sent me this and I finally feel we might be able to fix what we have let go. Thank you for the kick in the butt I needed.
Awesome post. I totally agree. It never really is about the fight/offense/etc. There is always a deeper pain. That is what you need to get down to. Figure it out, fix it and move on so that you both can so happily enjoy the marriage God has blessed you with!
Loved this! Pinned right away. It’s nice to hear that even after 19 years, you’re still having the same old squabbles, even if you do handle them better than you used to. That makes my husband and I pretty normal, after our eight years. 🙂
Marriage is hard. I really don’t think my marriage would last without Jesus in it. Our culture does just give up. Great and encouraging post, thanks!
Amen
Helloo
We’ve been married 38 years! I’m so proud to say that! We would wear these shirts proudly! Sometimes it broke….and we fixed it!!!
Thank you!!
Thank you for sharing, this touches so close to home because I’m currently separated from my wife. I pray each and every day that we are able to fix what is broken.
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