Well. My kids have been back in school for two weeks. It’s been tiring, but good.
I got this interesting comment on a post I wrote the other day about sending our kids back to school with purpose, where I mentioned that my kids go to public school.
“I just can’t get on board with the idea of “sending our children to be lights in the dark world” at such a young age. At almost 30, I feel totally unprepared to witness most days. I know Christian schools aren’t perfect but the thought of Public School makes my skin crawl.”
Although I didn’t agree with it entirely, it made me stop and think -do I really send my children into the dark world? My basic opinion: Our world is dark and we [believers] are aliens here, but this is not our heavenly home. My hubby and I are doing our best to equip our little aliens on how to be Christ-like wherever they go and whatever they do.
I love the freedom to choose. What I don’t like as much is for one person to think their choice is better than someone else’s. But I guess that goes with the whole freedom thing, huh?
I respect your schooling decision-whatever it may be, because it’s your decision, not mine. I don’t respect public school moms who think homeschool moms give their kids a bad education or homeschool moms who imply public school moms are dropping their kids off in hell at the carline. To each his own.
I don’t defend our choice. It’s our choice and right for us. For those that are wondering though, here’s why I send my kids to public school (for now):
- It’s safe and close to home
- It’s rated exemplary and cost nothing
- My kids love it
- Positive atmosphere-my daughter’s 4th grade teacher share my pictures and blog posts of my Compassion trip while I was in Africa with the class!
- I trust God with their education and their lives
- I don’t have a reason not to: I know the teachers, administration, parents. I’m involved. I send a letter to the principal each summer telling her how I think my child will do the upcoming year. If I email a teacher, I get a response the same day. I’ve had a good experience with the public school in my area.
At this point, I can’t say the same positive things about our city’s junior high, just named the largest in Texas. It’s two years away and our family will have some serious choices to make.
I’ve gotten emails from homeschool and public school moms who feel guilty because of what others have said/implied about their school decision. I want to encourage you to be confident in the choices you make and make sure you know why you’ve made them.
What works best for your family right now? Would you ever consider doing something else if you needed to make a change?
I have two at a small private school and a middle-schooler at home for the first year this year. Once again, the right decision for our family at this place and time. My biggest advice to people is to pray about it and trust the wisdom that God grants you.
I will pray for it.
I’m in my last year of having a child at home before kindergarten. And this is going thru my head constantly. The only thing I comfort myself with is that God has gone before me (or rather has already gone before me!). If I send my daughter to public school, He already knows who is going to sit next to her in class. He knows her teacher. And I trust him to help me parent her through all of it. If I do some kind of homeschool-ish/private-school-ish thing with her, He’s already been there and I believe he will equip me to do the best with her.
I have no idea if that made sense, but I say all that to say, I agree with you. Public School/Homeschool/Private School is not God. Those choices are big, but not as big as the daily parenting and leading we do to and for our children.
My oldest daughter had her first day of kindergarten today. I’m already thinking of taking her out! My reasoning isn’t related to her spiritual life, or the spiritual life of her classmates. Mostly I hate how her 10:20-1:40 school schedule messes up her younger siblings’ day and how public school has a cookie cutter one size fits all way of teaching. I’m not impressed that she won’t get anything even remotely tailored to her special needs (because her special needs are that she is at a higher academic level). Since budge cuts have eliminated art and music, I’m not seeing the point! I’m glad she enjoys recess but…
Andrea-I think those are good reasons to reconsider your school choice. There isn’t one answer. My oldest has tested out of some classes and before she was identified as an advanced learner, I was frustrated and she was bored. Thankfully, we are in a school that meets those needs.
Thanks! This is such a hard decision for me!
I struggled with this with all of my children and I will say different teachers and different schools handle it differently but it does get better as they get older. Most schools start formal G/T in 3rd grade. I definitely had moments where I thought the academic part of kindergarten was a waste because my child already knew the material but they learned so much socially and emotionally and with my youngest 2 their teacher really worked hard to meet their advanced academic needs.
You are correct in that most schools struggle to meet the needs of students who are more advanced. Because of NCLB and the push to raise test scores we (educators) are pushed to target groups of students who will give us the most “bang for our buck” and to simply “hold” those students who are already proficient/advanced at the same level.
My school district, while not officially, has all but cut our science and social studies because in our state they are not tested every year. I say not officially, because it is still on our master instructional calendar, but our actual instructional minutes each day are scheduled by the administration TO THE MINUTE and we have very few minutes left in the day for anything but reading or math. It got so bad last year that a critical mass of teachers in the district refused to sign a compliance document stating we had delivered P.E. instruction during the year.
well said Kristen. You know what is best for your family.
I have 3 children and for each we have taken a different path for their education. My oldest son has always attended public school and he is now at the junior college. My second son is home-schooled and has been since the 7th grade. He is now a sophomore. My daughter just turned 5 and is in kinder. Her school is next door to our home. Which I love, we’ve never had that when our boys were little. My hubby & I walk her to school every morning. It’s a great start to her day. I just got all my clearance to volunteer. I’m hoping to get in the class next week to help her teacher. Since she is my last, I’m gonna enjoy every single bit of it. I’m volunteering for EVERYTHING, lol.
have a good weekend Kristen and God Bless you and your family.
~Nicole @TeamPipkin
Oh, I think I love you even more now!! Well-said and beautifully written. My daughter is in 5th grade in public school. Our reasons are similar to yours … and God has blessed our obedience to Him in this area. I wrote a post about this topic several months ago and was amazed by the many public school moms who commented … I sort of thought I was the oddity in the blogger world!! 🙂
Thank you for the grace and sincerity that shines through your blog … cannot wait to meet you at Relevant.
I’m not a blogger (considered it but never bitten the proverbial bullet!), but I don’t find it’s an oddity at all, either in my online or personal experiences. Our church friends are a good mix of home, Christian, other private and public schoolers.
Our family is unique. My husband was reared in public school, I was in private Christian school my entire life, and so far, our child has experienced private Christian, Montessori, charter online, home and public schooling. We’re a military family and have learned firsthand that every situation – and every child – is unique.
I do strongly feel that unless you are 100% absolutely confident in your ability to teach your child a myriad of subjects and offer endless opportunities, that public *high* school should at least be given serious consideration for children, barring extraordinary circumstances, of course. By that time, children should have received a firm foundation and home and are able to gradually be exposed to outside influences while safely under your influence at home, making their initial college exposure less of of a shock. The many options offered by public high school and the preparation that young people receive for the future is invaluable in my opinion. Even a child whose goal is to go into ministry still needs a firm grasp on how to find his or her way in a ‘dark’ world, as you put it.
One area that is often left unaddressed but also bears mention is that public schools are typically well equipped to handle children with special needs, something not usually available in private Christian schools. I urge any parent whose child is experiencing motor or sensory deficits, ADD/ADHD, autistic, Asperger’s or other spectrum symptoms to consider either home or public schooling for those children, as my experience has demonstrated that those needs are sadly neglected in Christian school.
Just my personal opinions and experiences, of course! Your mileage may vary. 🙂
On high school, I must say that I agree with you Candy. Had someone asked me about it 3 years ago, however, I’d have staunchly supported homeschooling through high school. Funny how time mends some things, huh?
We just put my 14 yr old in public school for the first time in his entire life. It’s been good for him. It’s also a very good school, close to home, and has very good, concerned teachers. If we lived just one county over, this would not be true, and our choice would’ve been different. He’s my youngest, so he benefits from lessons learned the hard way with his older brother.
Another option, if the public/private schools aren’t appealing, is to join a homeschool group that offers high school classes. It can be spendy, but could fill the gap where the parent isn’t confident to teach. I wish we could’ve done this from the beginning with my 17 year old. I would’ve been so much less stressed about teaching him. Well, hindsight and all that…
It’s been strange to homeschool one kid and have the other in public school. I get some really odd looks. But, as Kristin put it so well, it’s what works for us.
I’m so glad that it’s worked out for you, Jessica!
Isn’t it a beautiful thing to trust that the Holy Spirit perfectly guides and we can trust that He speaks into each family’s heart, leading them homeward by the paths He has for them?
We are a Love Body and we’re not all meant to be thumbs but we are all called to Love.
I love your heart, Kristen… and what you do here is a beautiful thing….
Shine on!
At Relevant, Lord willing!
All’s grace,
Ann
Can I just say amen and amen on all points?! We all are just doing what is best for our children and nobody is better than anyone else! And we’ll have a public school kiddo next year – aaahhhh! How did that get here already?! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! So excited to meet you in less than 50 days!
I’m both saddened and shocked that you felt the need to write this post. I guess we all feel we’re alone in our persecution sometimes, don’t we? I have certainly never judged a Christian mom for sending her kids to public school. It’s not for us [right now], but I know plenty of beautifully Christ-like children who are being raised in the public school system. For me, the thought kinda wears me out. I really like the idea of teaching my kids from the Bible instead of “undoing” certain parts of their education when they get home. We do live in an extremely liberal (non-Christian, new age, pro-choice, “in Guad we trust”) area of the country, though. God wants us here, and so we’re here…doing what He calls us to do for our family. There ARE areas of black and white and right and wrong; and, frankly, I usually feel that the lines are being drawn to faintly these days. This, however, is not one of those cases. Parenting, in so many ways, is a special arrangement between God and the specific children He’s given to SPECIFIC parents:)
I’m glad your raising people for the Kingdom:)
Ummm…yeah…..I’m glad you’re raising people for the Kingdom, too;)
Hi Sarah-not sure why your shocked and saddened that I wrote this post…I’m not. I don’t feel persecuted and I’m not sure why it came across to you that I do. I just want people to pray about their choice and feel confident in it. Thanks for commenting.
Kristen, I was saddened and shocked that people (namely, homeschoolers…because I am one) would say the things to you that you mentioned!! Your post was beautiful! I’m very sorry for my quickly worded comment!
“I’ve gotten emails from homeschool and public school moms who feel guilty because of what others have said/implied about their school decision.”
For the record, THAT is what shocked and saddened me (my face is sooo red right now!!) I really didn’t realize that people were condemning each other for their schooling choices so often. I think that’s really terrible. Also, I was surprised because, as a homeschooler, I really thought *I* was receiving the blunt end of the “persecution”. I can see from your post that I was wrong. I didn’t think you came across as persecuted, at all. You just opened my eyes to an issue that I was pretty much unaware of.
I understand what you’re saying now. Thanks for clarifying it. Although I always want my readers to feel comfortable saying what they feel in a respectful way, as you did. Blessings!
I really appreciate your post. I so agree with you about feeling confident in your decision and not having to defend yourself in this area. Or expecting others to have to defend themselves.
Good post! I have two kids and they have been in public school up until this year. They are in 3rd and 5th grade and did just fine. I think people’s biggest problem with public school is fear. Fear is rarely based in reality. I am homeschooling them this year, but that’s because of academic needs specific to my kids and because I can. I would have no problem sending them back to public school if I needed to do that. My husband is in the ministry though and people have been aghast that we’ve sent our kids to public school. Some view it as a sin or something. I think we should all do whatever God leads us to do, no matter other’s opinions. Just my two scents. 😉
-FringeGirl
I currently have a high schooler in a city public arts school where he has had to learn why he believes what he believes (the arts world can be tough), a middle schooler in a city charter school, where he is in the minority ethnically and socioeconomicly, and three who are being homeschooled. The fun thing about the God we serve is He does give us freedom and choices. My kids are not identical people…their needs, their gifting are unique to them, and so the choices we make for them are unique as well. Kinda like our Dad. He gives us each different life experiences to prepare us uniquely for the life He has for us. I think its pretty cool! And so are you Kristen for making choices for your kids that will help your kids become who God intends for them to be.
-Kristin
Thank you! I completely agree. My parents let me homeschool for high school after 8 years of public school. I’d been miserable in middle school and homeschooling was wonderful for me. However, my three younger brothers stayed in public school. I know my mother got a lot of grief for her decision to keep my brothers in public school, but it was what was best for them at the time.
Great post. Almost all my friends homeschool their kids and we felt the pressure to do so as well because of what they indirectly implied our kids were “getting” at the public school. We moved to our home (also in TX) in the area we are in because the schools here are exemplary. The school is 2 miles away, I also know the staff, principal am very involved at our kids school and also get an email response to a question from their teachers the same day I send it. What it ultimately came down to for us is that it needed to be a decision that the Lord confirmed for us, not one that was peer pressured or forced because His plans are always perfect. I continue to pray along w/ my husband every day about that decision and until God is the one that moves us and not the opinions that we hear from others that our flesh can so easily get swayed into believing, then we will continue to send our kids to the public school here. I am not opposed to homeschooling our children IF that is what the LORD wants and if that is what He leads us to do, but I agree w/ your statement that we shouldn’t judge others on their decisions…my convictions are not someone else’s convictions, and vice versa. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
God leads everyone on a different path and no two families are on the same path. We homeschool because that is what God has called us to do. For now. Who knows what the future holds? How can we assume to know what/where/how God is leading another family? Public school isn’t right for every family. Private school isn’t right for every family. Homeschool isn’t right for every family. But, following God’s leading is. Let us pray and encourage one another on whatever journey we are on.
We are all already in a darkened world. The school isn’t any darker than the mall or (sadly) even many churches.
God gives parents the graces and wisdom to make these decisions for each of their children. What is best for me, is not best for you. What I am led to do, you may or may not be. But I trust Him to guide me and help us decide who to trust with educating our children.
Absolutely agree, BTW, with the above poster who said if you have special needs kids, Christian schools just can’t deal. In fact, this year my special needs son (mood disorder, learning disablity, memory function problems) is in public school even though his brothers and sisters are homeschooled.
It’s all about having the heart of your child. As well as, following the Lord’s leading and doing your best to parent them in a way that will show them Christ, lead them to Him and prepare them to share Him with a lost world.
School choice has little to do with it really. There are homeschoolers that raise well educated heathens every day and there are public schoolers that raise children sold out for Jesus and vice versa.
We’d all do well to just support each other, love each other, encourage each other as we all fumble to be Godly parents raising Godly children.
Kristen, I loved you before, and now I super duper love you. My man and I have placed our children in public school, private school, and we have homeschooled as well. The homeschooling year was very hard (OK, my hubs was deployed that year, but still) and we definitely felt let to do it only that year. BUT…that’s not to say in a different season we wouldn’t do it again. Right now my boys are in 5th grade and my daughter is in 1st at a beautiful, wonderful, fantastic public school with caring, nurturing, hearts-as-big-as-Texas teachers. We prayerfully consider our schooling choices on a year by year, child by child basis. We cannot pridefully assume our schooling choice is best for all.
Well done, sweet girl! Looking forward to meeting you at Relevant!
kristen – we do part time home school, part time at school. we chose this because we think its best for our kids. when approached by others thinking i think my choice is better than theirs, its hard to challenge that. of course i chose what i think is best for my kids! i don’t think my choice is the only choice for everyone and everyone else’s choices are bad, but i couldn’t educate my kids the way we do unless we thought it was the best. it gets tricky, people get emotional and fired up about this stuff. all we can do is do what we believe is best. i like the way you layed out your reasons for your decision.
I have always wanted to homeschool, but now that we are at that point, I honestly don’t think I have the patience for it. Even the little workbooks I do at home with my daughter myself she gets frustrated with, and then I do too! But I do feel guilty about putting her in the public schools, but we can’t afford the school our church offers either. It is a real struggle for me and I feel guilty for NOT homeschooling. But I also believe my daughter needs some socialization. I was a public school student, and I think I turned out fine. I know people who went to Christian schools and rebelled against it all. Christian schools aren’t perfect, though I do like the thought of Creation over evolution being taught, and prayer and scripture a part of the rountine, but I also know I have the chance and responsibility to teach her those things at home. For now God has not blessed us financially with the ability to send her to the Christian school- so unless something changes I believe it is just fine for her to go public school route. And they have the ability that I lack (and my church’s school lacks) to offer her speech therapy.
Though I still feel guilty, I know it is all inside my head because none of my friends- who all have made different choices- have never judged mine. Thank you for writing this though, it is encouraging to hear. And honestly if we are teaching our children to walk in God’s ways at home, I think public school does offer them the chance to be lights in a dark world- if all Christians refused to put their children in public school, then who would be there to invite other kids to things like AWANAS or Youth group? If we shelter them, how will they learn to stand up for Christ?! I struggle myself with witnessing as an adult, I admit, but I think how much more I would struggle if I hadn’t been in an environment that offered me opportunities as a child and teen to practice that. Some friends of mine who were homeschooled are struggling even more with it as an adult now.
But like you said, we can only make choices that we feel are best for our own children! There are pros and cons to any choice, we just need to trust that God will lead us where He wants us.
We’re homeschooled because the school we would have to go to, eh, isn’t so nice. And my parents felt like they needed to treach us the truth. It has worked great for us (considering I would be teased a lot becasue of my eczema and I would stick horribly out like a sore thumb!). That’s so great the school your kid go to is so good! Not many schools are like that. Also that’s awesome that your daughters teacher showed pictures and blog posts from your trip!!
*Teach us the truth, about things. Haha typos 😛
My children have always gone to public school despite many people’s assumptions that I homeschool or unschool. It works for us and has been a blessing because one of our sons needs special education and gets a lot of FREE help & assistance. I’m thankful. Also, I went to a Christian high school and, well, the things that went on there were no different (maybe even worse!! The sexual experimentation alone… Shocking) than when I finished my high school years in a public school. Humans are humans no matter what kind of building they are in.
Steph
I agree Steph! I had friends that went to private Christian high school and the stuff going on was the same stuff going on at public school.
Beautifully written!!! The safest place for all of us to be is in the center of God’s will. I went to private Christian school for all but 1 year of my schooling (including college) so when our kids came to school age I was scared at the idea of sending my kids to public… partly from what I’d heard from other Christians, partly just my perception. I think being involved it your kids school is a wonderful way to seeing what really is happening. I know that all the same issues that happen in public school can happen in Christian schools. I think being in a public school keeps me on my toes more than if they were in a private school… which is good for me and my kids. I love kid’s teachers… they are hard working ladies who really want what is best for the kids and have no hidden agendas.
Blessings to you and your family Kristen!
We’re planning on sending our son Reid to the public school here because it is a wonderful school system. We are blessed to live by a great public school, but there are definitely some public schools that we wouldn’t let him attend. Lumping “public schools” into one category is misleading because there is such a wide variety of the qualities of the school systems in America.
OK, since those first two lines were soooo taken out of context (and poorly written)…would you mind posting this and deleting my first comment;)
I have certainly never judged a Christian mom for sending her kids to public school. It’s not for us [right now], but I know plenty of beautifully Christ-like children who are being raised in the public school system. For me, the thought kinda wears me out. I really like the idea of teaching my kids from the Bible instead of “undoing” certain parts of their education when they get home. We do live in an extremely liberal (non-Christian, new age, pro-choice, “in Guad we trust”) area of the country, though. God wants us here, and so we’re here…doing what He calls us to do for our family. There ARE areas of black and white and right and wrong; and, frankly, I usually feel that the lines are being drawn too faintly these days. This, however, is not one of those cases. Parenting, in so many ways, is a special arrangement between God and the specific children He’s given to SPECIFIC parents:)
I’m glad you’re raising people for the Kingdom:)
My 20 1/2 year olds (twins) were in public school until half way through 5th grade, we had moved to a smaller town and their math grades dropped and when I asked the teacher about it he said, “That’s just what happens to 5th grade girls”…um, no it doesn’t. We home schooled through some charter schools( and they were both successful in math, thankyouverymuch). From then on it was back and forth between public and homeschooled. We moved a lot and needed to make new choices along the way.
Our son is turning 10 at the end of this month, he is in 6th grade. We homeschooled him right from the start due to where we were at the time he was nearing 5, as well as, we clearly felt the Lord’s calling to do so. Every year we ask for guidance from the Lord as to his schooling, and so far it is consistent. He is, however, in elective classes like art, dance, engineering(using Legos), web design and Spanish, this gives him the opportunity for a broader education as well as learning group skills.
I think every family, every child, and specifically where you live and what the schools are like are super important factors, and will vary greatly. We just know without a doubt , that for whatever reason, our youngest is not to be in public school at this time.
Awesome post. You have to do what is right for you and your family. No one should judge you for doing that. I definitely know what works for someone does not mean it is for everyone at that certain time. Many blessings to you and your family.
“What I don’t like as much is for one person to think their choice is better than someone else’s” – I love this statement that you made…it says it all. Having the freedom that you talked about means that we can all make our choices – and that freedom wouldn’t work very well if we weren’t all tolerant of each other’s choices.
Right now I homeschool my 8th grader and my 11th grader does independent study with a charter school. We evaluate these choices all the time making sure that they are still working for us and our girlies. It is a privilege to live in a time where we can make these choices and the responsibility that comes with that privilege is to respect each other’s choices.
Last year was so wonderful for us. My daughter attended all-day kindergarten at our local public school, and was blessed with the most amazing teacher. She has some special needs (sensory processing disorder and that she is an advanced learner). I used to be a teacher, so the decision to place her in school rather than home-school was one I constantly questioned. But it turned out to be the best decision I ever made!
This year? We are not so fortunate with her teacher. It’s been two weeks and I am trying to be patient and wait on the Lord. But… I want to pull her out and home-school her. There, I said it. But… I don’t know if that is what the Lord wants. In fact, I’m thinking it’s not. I haven’t even given the teacher an opportunity to address my concerns. I’m thinking the worst, when I know I should assume the best. And what I’m realizing is that I need to change my attitude.
I’m glad you wrote this post.
(I’m no expert here, having not gone through this with children of my own yet, but I will one day…)
Having “grown up” (through my sophomore year of HS) in public school, graduated from a private school, and then married a “homeschooler”, I’ve heard just about every opinion there is regarding schooling. I believe that our creative God has made every child, every situation is so unique that there is no black/white or always right/wrong way to educate children.
What I do feel strongly about and believe is wrong (and ignorant, if I can use such a strong word) is for someone to believe the choice he/she made is better/superior to that of another (worse yet, passing that feeling on to your children). I remember sitting in (and then getting up and walking out) of a private school classroom when my teacher began to rant on how “those public school” children behave. Seriously? There were 9 of us in the class. Myself and another girl had just transferred from public school that year and our teacher was WELL aware of this fact… so hurtful.
As Christians, we’re ALL called to be lights, WHEREVER we are, regardless of how “dark” our world becomes! I had amazing parents who instilled Christian values in us from the time we were very young. They loved the Lord and loved my sister and I (and still sent us to public school- gasp!) and I think we turned out ok… I guess you’d have to ask them. 😉
Oh, how I love that you posted this! I think that we as christians can be so judgmental of each OTHER. I went to a private christian school, my husband went through public school, and we are currently sending our girls through a public magnet school. Like you said, it’s the middle and high school years that have me concerned. However, I am already praying (and have been) about the situation for wisdom and guidance and I know that God is in control. And actually, it was your trip to Kenya that gave me a peace about all of it…..if God can protect the children in those horrific circumstances there, with no parents (like vincent) through compassion- who am I to worry and fret over public vs private vs homeschool here in the US with two loving, caring, committed, concerned parents with my daughters? God will protect. God will provide. God is God.
(I hope this isn’t a duplicate…I tried to comment and it looked like it didn’t go through)….I can heartily say an AMEN to this post! I respect my friends that homeschool, private school and public school. I was private schooled, my husband was public schooled, and my daughters currently attend the public magnet school in our area. I have concerns about middle and high school but have been and am praying for wisdom and guidance about that right now. I know it will work out. It saddens me that as Christians, we are often the most judgemental with each OTHER over the choices we make in this area.
Actually it was during your trip to Kenya when I finally felt peace about our decision. If God can protect the children in the midst of the horrific conditions there with no parents (those such as Vincent, etc) then who am I to fret and worry over my children in the US with two committed, loving parents? God is able. God will provide. God is God.
Yes, I need to make the best, most informed decision that I can for my children. But to think that by controlling one aspect, I can make the outcome be what I want it to be is to put myself in the place of God….and that is a dangerous way of thinking. Just my humble opinion.
I wrote a post about this last week (http://www.kristyblogs.com/2010/08/why-we-arent-homeschooling.html). My husband doesn’t agree with the idea of homschooling right now, so we’re in public school too. Our children are doing great and we have never felt that they’re in any danger (although we do blanket them in prayers every day). Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Sometimes I feel like the only Christian mom who doesn’t homeschool.
Thank you for this post. I often sense that homeschool parents, especially Christian homeschool parents, look down their noses at those of us who choose public school.
I taught in public school for many years. I had many caring, loving, Christian colleagues. I also had some who weren’t caring or loving or Christians. They didn’t make the whole school “bad.”
We chose public school for our son because he is an only child and he is one of only three children in the neighborhood. If he didn’t have school friends, we would be schlepping him all over creation just so he could interact with peers. With some other sacrifices, we would be able to send him to a private school, but I think the 90-minute bus ride twice a day is a little much for a six year old.
I’m glad to read your family is having a positive public school experience — we are too! Our neighborhood school is fantastic, and my boys love it. (Third grade twins; preschooler has one more year until Kindergarten.)
At the beginning, I felt a need to “defend” my decision for public school. Much less so as time goes on. The kids are thriving, and — like you — I’m very involved in the school.
If we needed to make a change, we would. In a heartbeat. For now, my kids are getting a great education a few blocks from our home. They’ve made good, solid friends in the neighborhood. As a family, we’re able to share our faith in an authentic way with other families. There’s no doubt in my mind that we’re not exactly where God wants us to be.
My 13 year old son has gone to Public Schools his entire life. He has Asperger’s Syndrome, and yes we have had to do a few small bttles to get what he needs. BIUT I have found along the way, that the school really DOES want to do right by him and better educate themselves on his disorder. I have had to educate my share of educatore on the needs of an Aspie, trust me. And so much good has come of that. For instance, in his middle school, they tailor made a Social Skills class for him and 4 others the first year. This had never been done before in that school. Now it is offered in each grade level for any “at risk” child! How wonderful is that?
I had considered home schooling when he was younger, but honestly, I was a single mother working full time out of sheer necessity as I never received child support. Besides the fact is I was very honest with myself. I would not have been able to meet his educational needs. No I am not uneducated. As a matter of fact, I have 3 years of college education specializing in Special Education (how’s that for irony). I am too involved with making sure he develops life skills and Occupational therapy. I am a pretty emotional person and more so where he is concerned. In a Home School setting, I do not believe he would have honestly benefitted.
That was my choice back then, and I am thrilled to say that I still have no regrets. I applaud those who DO homeschool! You all have my utmost respect. It just would not have worked well with MY child. And that is MY choice and if you ever met my son, you would have no doubt that the public school system has been wonderful for him. Yes he is advanced (most Aspies have close to genius IQs and he is no exception), but they have constantly met those needs as well.
thanks so much for the encouragement. we have 5 (just about 6) kiddos and starting on tuesday they will be in 6th grade, 4th grade, 3rd grade and kindergarten (and 1 still at home with me, until the babe arrives in october, making it 2 home with me) all at our local public school and it has been a fabulous experience for us as well. i would (and have) considered other options from time to time and year to year based on our needs and have homeschooled one of our kids for a year. but right now, for us, this is the right thing! i think there are lots of great (and some not-so-great) education choices out there and what’s right for one family isn’t right for another. personally, i’ve suffered some “i can’t believe you would send your children to public school criticism” too and it’s sad and makes me feel bad. but my husband and i know this is right for us at this time. so, thanks for your post and keep up the good work. to all parents, whatever schooling option you choose. seek what God would have you do for your family and try to encourage those around you — no matter their choice.
blessings,
shana
I agree with the “to each his own.” We had planned to home school. but I am just not up to it right now. Our son is in Pre-K and going to the local charter school. It is a great school, for now. Our middle school and high school options are NOT good ones. Our goal is to move closer to another charter school that is awesome. It is a hard choice but you just have to do what works best for you, your kids and your family at that time. Don’t allow others to bully your choice. 🙂
Hi Kristen,
Thanks so much for this post. This year we have 4 kids in school…it’s our 6th year in public school and the Lord has blessed us for following His path for our family. I believe we are our kids primary educators… we don’t give up that roll just b/c our kids go to school. I also find it interesting that people assume we send them to be light in a dark world. That isn’t why we send our kids to public school, but it is a by product of them being there. Kids, by their very nature, want to share what they love. If they love Jesus… they will share Him. This is a wonderfully heart felt post and I’m praying that your words will be grace to all who read them.
I have to find a quiet place to hear God speak. It took a long time to decide that he was indeed calling us to send our children to christian school.
If it took me that long to hear what he was telling me I can’t imagine how long you would have to meditate to decide where he is calling other people. Just saying..
There are all kinds of people in all kinds of situations, God wants us everywhere. Your kids are not out drifting in a storm but firmly anchored in thier faith at home.
I believe mom guilt does nasty things to people, sometimes we feel we need to justify our choices to everyone else.
Have a great school year!
I went to private school my entire life. I loved it!! However, I teach (part time) in a public school, and have for the past fourteen years. I live right across the street from the public school I send my kids to and have for the past 14 years. Public school is the right place for my second grader and kindergartener for now. I am involved and my husband and I are comfortable with our decision to send them there–for now. We are very willing to change what we are doing if something is not working for them in the future.
My first day back was Tuesday and my 8th graders made I Am posters: My heart soared when I read: “I am capable, smart, and a Christian.” Never in my 14 years have I seen a child so boldly assert himself–and I pray that someday my children will have the strength to stand up for their beliefs and be proud of the Christians they are as this boy did.
With parental involvement, dedication, and communication public school can work–and work well at that.
(I hope this isn’t a duplicate comment)
LOVE this post!
And, I’d like to recommend a book that I read this summer called “Going Public: Your Child Can Thrive in Public School,” by David and Kelli Pritchard. It was really reassuring for me that we were making the right choice for the right reasons. They even address that parents don’t choose this route because they expect their children to be little preachers. I thought it was a great read!
I think each child and family should determine what is best for them. If a child needs a LOT of one on one instruction, public school might not be the best option. However, if they are the average kid (which most kids fall into) they should function fine in public school system. As far as faith goes, honestly, I believe if you have a strong foundation at home and you trust your children, they WILL be lights in their school. It’s all about communication with you as parents. If they can communicate with you, they’ll tell you about those kids that are trying to influence them into doing things they shouldn’t. I’m grateful that we live in a country that allows for public education. Because without it, only those who can afford it will be able to access a well rounded education. My son is only 20 months old, so I don’t have to answer this question yet. We’re already working on his letters and numbers. I’m not saying he’s more intelligent than others. I think he’s still in the middle somewhere. So chances are, we’re going to send him to public school. However, we might not, it all depends on what happens when he gets to that age. Another thing that fuels this is the need for social interaction.
Depending on your state, if your school has cut music and arts, you might want to see if the funds are appropriated by the state board or by your local board. If it is local, get a group of parents together and really petition the school to re-instate those classes.
Yep, totally agree!! I think everyone needs to be confident in their schooling choices! I think God made every family unique and with different needs, thus the need for different choices!
We have homeschooled for 14 years now and early on, I would have been more like your commenter, more condescending, less gracious, more judgmental, less understanding, etc. Early on, I think that dogmatism keeps you going but it is a false sense of security to find your validation for your way of thinking by putting down the choices of others. God has graciously allowed us to be able to afford to homeschool and for the right opportunities to come around at the right times. We have lived in places where public schools would not have been an option (think the Valley in Los Angeles) and we have lived in places where I am sure they would have thrived. God has blessed our choice, but it is not the right choice for everyone and let’s be honest, some homeschoolers should throw in the towel and leave it to the professionals! It is all about God’s grace extended to our children, we are never going to make perfect choices in every situation, but because of Christ and gospel, we know that He will accomplish His will despite our mistakes.
this post is so important! my kiddos go to public school for the same reasons… and it has been great! there have been moments when i thought we might need another option that was better for our son’s needs, but since he started middle school he has thrived. i choose to be involved when i can, and i know that my kids are cared for. even in the big scary(only to me!) high school.
but it has to be an individual choice… and no one knows what our kids really need except for us.
We have two school-aged kids right now (4th and 1st) and they are in public school. It seems to me that many Christian parents choose to homeschool or send their kids to Christian school mostly out of fear. I often hear things like your commenter, which honestly really frustrates me. I would say the majority of public school teachers are there because they care about kids and want to help them learn. While there are, of course, exceptions, public school teachers are not “out to get” kids or trying to corrupt them. Another thing to remember is that some public school teachers ARE, in fact, Christians themselves!
As far as it being hard for children to be lights in a dark world, I would rather them learn NOW while we have a lot of time to come along side them than wait for them to figure it out on their own as college students or even later.
As parents, we find it MUCH easier to meet our non-Christian neighbors as part of the public school community. If we weren’t forced to interact with people who are different, it would be very easy to isolate ourselves in our Christian circles. This is something I see with a lot of the homeschool/Christian school families that I know. (Not all, but many.)
Of course, there are different school choices that work best for different families and even different children within families. I just hate to see people making choices out of fear.
Thanks for this, Kristen. I feel like it’s only here in the blogosphere that I feel like I’m questioned for sending my kids to public school, but I’m in the same situation you are (incredibly good schools I’m very involved in that we walk to). Having gone to Christian school most of my life, I understand its pros and cons. Maybe someday that will be our choice, but it’s not now.
You never owe anyone an explaination as to how you choose to educate your children! Period!
My kids (all big now, 1 in college and 2 in high school) have done a little of it all. It just depended
on where we were in life at that time.
They’ve attended public, private and we even did a little bit of homeschooling.
God was our deciding factor in each decision. I have no regrets!
Every single school….we made the best of it and got involved.
My kids have also been the new kids at 6 different schools. Hello, ministry life! 🙂
They are very well rounded and confident people….with friends all over the place!
God is so good!
I just want to say thank you, really. Not because you send your children to public school and defend it, but because you love others enough to respect their choices for their reasons as well. We love public school because we have great public schools! ALL of our friends either do private school or homeschooling (mostly the latter). We respect eachother’s decisions, but there’s a bit of a rivalry there at times where we don’t agree. This post made me cry, just some things we’re dealing with in our family’s life right now, and I just wanted to thank you. You really touched my heart today! God bless!
Some really, really good examples in these comments of WHY it’s good to support each other. Love y’all and I’m so glad we can raise our kids separately, even differently, but all the with same common goal.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really appreciate the way that you respect the choices that other moms are making about their families. All too often it seems like moms spend way too much time tearing each other down and not enough time listening to each other and lifting each other up.
We are on the fence about sending our child to public school and already I have received some pretty, um emphatic, opinions from both sides. It makes me sad that other people cannot see that I am trying to do what is best for MY child and that it may be different from what is best for THEIR child.
I sometimes feel that I expend so much energy defending my decisions there is little left to actually carry them out.
We say we go day by day. Year by Year. So far – God puts in plan, provides what we need. I am going to rightly assume He will do that every year. One year, it might be a move to a town with great school. In Central Oregon I was a bit jealous of the moms who chose to send their kids to one of the local schools – because they could walk, be involved, etc. Community Feeling. We were too far away to be enrolled in this school. I’m not anti-what I’m not doing. I’m Pro Individual Plans. Whatever private, public, tutor, mom situation that may be. Should our plans change and we try other educational sources – I pray that I am as unapologetic and encouraging as you have been today. 🙂
Awesome post!
I admit/confess to struggling in this area. I’m home educating our younger two children after our oldest attended the local public schools almost all the way through (he was home schooled about 2 years out of 12).
We live in the north east and the schools here are changing rapidly to accommodate a very liberal and anti-Christian agenda. While there are some awesome teachers – even members of our church who teach here – for our younger children we have chosen a different path by God’s grace and calling.
We had a number of very negative experiences with our oldest child and the public school (lack of respect for our beliefs, forced exposure and required “acceptance” of contradictory/offensive beliefs to pass classes, etc). This is not a route we wish to travel again with our other children.
I often think that if we lived in a different part of the country – our choices might be different – depending solely on what God directed for our family. So much depends on location and availability of resources. God provides what we need to follow His leading. That is the beauty of following Him! *S*
Thank you for always being so open with your life and your heart.
Blessings on the journey~
First of all, I firmly believe that every parent should make the choice that best meets the needs of their child. For every family, every child, that looks different. No one should judge or come down on another person for their choice. Period.
My daughter is in 3rd grade. This is our 2nd year in public school. We homeschooled for 1st grade, and were in a private school for kindergarten, so I have experienced all three options. We do not send our daughter to public school to be a light in a dark world. While we do remind her that she represents Christ while she is at school, that was not even a factor in our decision. Private school was too much for our budget. Homeschooling was miserable…even though I was homeschooled and always thought I would homeschool. Our girl was dying on the vine, and had come to hate anything school-related, even though I went out of my way to create fun, exciting learning experiences for her like my mom did for me. We decided to try public school to see if it was the right fit for her. It was. Our neighborhood school was horrible, so we applied for and were accepted to a magnet school, which was fantastic. We loved her teachers and classmates. The principal was wonderful, and hubs and I got very involved with the school. We have since moved to a different state, and our neighborhood school is a good one, too. Both of my kids are in school now, and we are very pleased. Do they teach some things that don’t jive with our beliefs? Of course they do. We have chosen to use those as opportunities to talk with our daughter about spiritual things, and to teach her how to live with her eyes wide open. Any time she questions something she has heard, she comes to us and we talk about it. My husband and I believe the key to success in public school is for the parents to be very involved, both at school and at home. Keep the communication lines open with the teacher, administration, and with the kids. There is a fantastic book about the subject of Christian families in public schools: “Going Public: Your Child Can Thrive in Public School,” by David and Kelli Pritchard. I would recommend it to any Christian parent who has a child in public school, or is considering putting a child in public school. I would also recommend it to homeschool and private school parents, because I think it might give them a better understanding of those who have chosen the public school route. Again, I have been a homeschool parent, and I have been a private school parent, so I can say this with no agenda. =)
I think perhaps I should clarify the comment I left earlier. Yes, that was my comment that you are referring to in your post. I’m very sorry that it came across as judgmental, that was NOT my intention at all. I respect your decision for your children’s education, we as parent’s are doing the best that we can. We maintain a conservative Christian life here at home & I want the same consistent standards at school. Yes, there have been some issues scholastically that have concerned me about a public school education, my husband received a horrible education through the system. I have taught school using the curriculum that my daughter is now learning from & I am very happy with her progress. I know that all schools are different, I’m told there are some excellent public schools & don’t doubt it for a minute. I’m simply doing what I consider the best for my daughter, after all that’s all we can do, OUR BEST! Love your blog & love your honesty!
I totally agree with you! Why do moms constantly have to attack each other on parenting decision, breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding, homeschooling vs. public schooling, the list is endless.
This is my opinion. Most of us are good parents who have our children’s best interests at heart and want what is best for our children. Different families value you education differently. Hubby and I were both brought up to value education highly and work hard to succeed in school, as such we both did very well and school and I think it has served us well in life overall.
I also have encouraged a love of learning from an early age in each of my children. My children were all early readers, all love school, and all do very well in school. I feel very blessed because this is not the case.
School choice is something we have debated a lot within the family and I spent countless hours reserching public schools, school districts, neighborhoods, and private schools before ever enrolling my child in a school. While it has not always been perfect, nor have I ever been able to afford to live in the neighborhoods with the top-ranked public schools I have been very happy with all the schools my children have gone too and they have done exceedingly well.
My oldest went to a private christian school for kindergarten and 1st grade and did very well but we moved after 1st grade and it was not possible for our family to afford private education for 3 children. He then moved to one of the best school districts in Colorado for public school but within the district my kids school was in a more working class neighborhood and had lower tests scores and a higher percentage of children living in poverty. My chlidren also did exceedingly well at this school and they had the best gifted and talented program I have seen to date. My oldest made huge academic gains in a 6 month period once he was in full day G/T.
Moving to Maryland last year was a big transition for our family last year. How the public schools and neighborhoods were weighed heavily in our decision of what part of town to live in. The cost of living is extremely high here and we could not afford to live in the best school district but what I would call “the next best thing”. My children all had an adjustment period as things are done very differently here in Maryland in the classroom than they were in Colorado but once again they are doing exceedingly well. All three of my children are in all gifted and talented classes available to them at their grade level and each of my two oldest children brought home a report card with straight A’s last year.
I truly feel it is so much more about parenting, your values, what you teach at home, and how involved you are in their learning. I do not think merely sheltering the children is the way. I feel like they need to learn to become responsible, young adults, that are successful within our society, not outside of it.
I have considered homeschooling breifly when hubby’s job was looking to take him to a part of the country known for poor public schools. While I know I could do it if I was not working full-time it is not something God has placed on my heart and I think it would be a big struggle for both me and the kids. I feel where they are now is what is best for them and as a parent that is all you can do.
We fall on the homeschool side of the spectrum. I honestly believe that God will direct each family on the path they need to be on, be it public school, private school, homeschool, or somewhere in between. The only thing I have seen in some parents (personal friends) is they do not even think to seek God over where to educate their children. That is sad, as our children are on loan from God, He’s their parent and knows where they need to be.
Could I ever see sending my young children to a public school classroom for 35+ hours a week beginning at age 5? No, I honestly can’t. A child who spends more waking time with peers than family will pick up the culture of their peers. Parents will spend the little time they have after school, homework, and outside activities trying to build a family culture and there just isn’t that much time in a day. Sending them to public school seems to be more work for a parent than teaching them at home. HOWEVER . . .
. . . Is it something I pray about and would follow God’s leading on? You Bet. I’ve learned that He always knows best, and disobedience is harder than any thing He may ask us to do.
In thinking more about this – and having recently had some similar conversations with dear friends – we are all sinners, living in a fallen world, trying to follow our Holy Savior.
Of course we screw it up!
It is only by the Grace we are given that we ever get any of it right!
Bearing with each other – respecting the differences while still being free to voice OUR hearts (respectfully) is the key I think.
Kristen – You do such a great job with all this. God gives you such grace. I love your blog and following your journey! And I get the biggest kick out of seeing other dear ladies – whose blogs I read also – posting their comments here too.
Blessings on the journey~
My children attend public schools also (a city-school system.) In fact, all three of my children are in a different school this year! I love our schools and I am very involved with each one. I would personally love to homeschool our children, but the opportunities at school outweigh that desire by a far cry. There would be no candle to hold up what is offered through our wonderful school system. We have been truly blessed with every teacher being a Christian and they love our children as much as we do. Right now, sending on them on that big old cheesewagon every morning is what is best for our family!
Amen and Amen. We actually choose to homeschool. But I am often hesitant to tell people that, because I hate to be associated with the group of home schoolers that think that you can’t possibly be a follower of Christ and send your children to public school. That judgmental spirit is of the devil himself and it drives me crazy!!
Thank you for an honest post.
Interesting topic. Mothers are always criticizing each other for their decisions, no? We have our children in private Christian school, for many reasons. And believe me, I too get the comments, questions, and “looks”. Having gone to private Christian schools for my own education, let me assure you that there is plenty that goes on. There will be many opportunities for discussions, life lessons, and preparation for college and the “real world” for our kids. My own belief is that they will still get exposed to many of the same issues, just on a smaller, more manageable scale. And as a side note, that is quite remarkable that your photos and blog posts from your Compassion trip to Africa were shown in the classroom. There are many areas of the country (I live in one of them) where that would be met with vigorous opposition from parents–or never would have been allowed to happen in the first place. Blessings.
My kids are in public and are thriving. Our school is an excellent one – great teachers, great administration. They are learning and enjoying it! They come home excited about what they did and go back ready for more. Any time I have a question, I can email or call and not only do I get a quick response, but my concerns are addressed fully and immediately.
There have been times when my oldest (4th grade) has had issues with other kids or questions about what the teacher said (especially when it comes to science). We use those times as a teaching moment for him – to say, here is what God says about it and here is what you can do. He would never have had those moments to learn God’s way if he had been at home with me.
My youngest will be starting in a couple of years, but is in a preschoool/speech therapy program at the school. He is making so much more progress with the speech than I would ever be able to help him with – and I don’t have to pay for it! It just makes sense for us to send him there.
If things were to change and we were no longer near a good school, would I homeschool or send my kids to private school? Maybe. I want my kids to have the best education possible. Right now, the public school is providing it just fine.
Our choice right now is a private christian school. It is a year to year decision for us based on where we believe the Lord would have us and some how and for some reason he keeps us where we are. And He always graciously provides the tuition. We very seriously considered moving to public for this year because of money, but again, we did not feel a release from the Lord to make that move.
I totally agree and stand with you in the “make the decision that is right for your family” type of statement. Just as many here have felt called into question for sending their children to public school, we have felt questioned and almost ridiculed for sending ours to private with much of my family (teachers) and even our church’s pastor (school board) involved in public education. And admittedly, from the outside it doesn’t make sense if you look at the good school district that we live in.
However, we are absolutely confident in our choice and couple of things led us to where we are. Please understand that this is in no way meant to be inflammatory, just sharing where we are just as you did. 1) We tend to feel that much about our public school system (generally nationwide) is broken. It is broken because politicians are in charge of it and politicians are concerned about their own interests, not the children. 2) We really like the classical education approach that our school has. We were on the fence for a long time but after visiting this school and hearing their vision, the choice was clear. I, for one, like that my daughter is taking Latin in 4th grade this year. 3) I am not gifted as being a teacher and homeschooling would just not work for us. 4) Since homeschooling wouldn’t work, it’s nice to know that the teachers and administration are on the same page with us as far as discipline goes – for our children and others. We have comfort that there is recourse if there is a disciplinary problem with other children and that our own will be disciplined in a manner similar and with the same values as we have at home.
And for the record, just because I’ve given the whole matter a lot of thought over the last few years, I can’t go without reminding everyone that public education is not free. You just don’t pay anything in addition to the taxes that you already pay for tuition.
Thank you for such a well written post about the choices we make for our children. I know that facing Jr High is a matter of prayer for any parent, but to add serious decisions about school on top of that I’m sure will make it additionally stressful. I pray that God will grant you wisdom on the matter as you seek Him.
(Sorry this was so long, Kristen.)
For our family, public school is working. Especially my 7 yr old daughter needs that kind of schedule and constant interaction with plenty of kids. We tend to butt heads quite a bit anyway, and I’m not sure I could ever homeschool her. We’re sending the 5 yr old as well, she started kindergarten yesterday. We’ve got a great school and I’ve had no complaints. I can see if the 5 yr old was ever truly having issues, maybe I could homeschool her. I don’t know. I think she needs to be away from me, because she tends to get too quiet, too shy, and too comfortable otherwise. It’s what’s working for us now. We have been so pleased with the school, I have no desire to take them out. I don’t begrudge anyone who’s made the choice to homeschool. It can be a great thing. For us, public school is what we want to do right now. And I don’t think anyone is ever completely comfortable with the idea of being a light in the world, but if we take ALL of the Christians out of the public schools, just how dark will it be?
We also send our children to public school. Its the top rated school in the county and was a blue ribbon school last year. There have been no problems thus far with worldly influences that I can see. But the biggest reason I don’t homeschool is because my husband doesn’t want me to. I can’t justify pestering him until I get my way in that regards.
thank you so much for this post. I have some good friends who home school and I get the feeling they think their choice is superior and like you said, “I am sending my kids to hell” by sending them to public school. I grew up in public schools…I taught in public schools for 10.5 years and I do not have a problem sending my kids to public schools. Education begins in the home. I am not relying on my son’s public school teacher to teach him about Jesus, that is my job and my husband’s job. I have been praying for my son’s teacher for the past year. I leave it all in God’s hands…..HE is totally in charge.
You know what the whole “home school VS non-home school” reminds me of—-breastfeeding VS non-breastfeeding. I tried the whole breastfeeding thing and it was NOT for me. BUT, the moms who breastfeed can make a mom who chooses not to breastfeed feel like they are the worst moms because they are not giving their child breast milk. It just isn’t for everyone! Same thing with home schooling….it is not for everyone.
Anyway, I guess I have vented enough…..this issue gets to me a little. But again, thank you for your post.
Blah. I hate when people make rash judgements. Granted, I tend to make them myself, no one’s perfect, but I’ll tell ya what. The longer I’m a parent the more I learn. This stuff is hard and there is never one right way to do anything when you’re raising kids! LOL
I am homeschooling my boys right now (I was home schooled myself), but if I fail miserably, I like knowing I can send them somewhere LOL It does terrify me a bit to send them out into the world, all on their own (they are only 3 and 4), but I also know they can survive because GOD IS ON OUR SIDE. We have a really good school system as well where we are living right now, so that helps. If we were in my old school district…there is no way I would be sending them to school there – it was bad!
I did want to let you know though – you’re kids are AMAZING and I seriously doubt they are going to get lost in the world. The darkness always needs a light to shine through and just from the stories you’ve shared with us, I can see that your kids are a bright light and they are going to SHINE! <3 I can only hope I am as awesome with you as raising my toddlers to follow hard after God.
I teach in a public school and consider it my duty and an honor to “let my light shine” for my students and their parents to see. My 4 children have all been in public school and though nothing is perfect, it has been a great experience. I think it is our responsiblity to stay connected and involved no matter where our children attend school good and bad things can happen anywhere. I agree with you that we should respect each other’s opinions.
Excellent post, as always, Kristen! 🙂
We are homeschooling our three kiddos (ages 8, 6 and 3). Why do we choose to do this instead of sending them to public school? Simple answer? Right now, that is what God has told us to do. 🙂 Will we do this forever? I have no idea! We will do it for as long as God tells us to.
Kristen you wrote: “I don’t respect public school moms who think homeschool moms give their kids a bad education or homeschool moms who imply public school moms are dropping their kids off in hell at the carline.” That sentence has to be the best one I have ever heard on the subject!
Yes, this world is dark, but how much light does it take to dispel darkness in a room? One small candle. We are supposed to be shining like stars as we hold out the Word of life. So we should shine wherever we are at…public school. homeschool, private school, co-op, etc. Our lives are not defined by whether or not we homeschool or public school, we are defined by our actions and attitudes. Our lives should be a living example of what we believe.
We choose to homeschool because that is what is best for our family right now. I don’t believe that it is best for every family or that it is the only acceptable form of education. As you said Kristen, “to each their own.”
Your closing sentence is important for all aspects of parenting, not just school decisions: “I want to encourage you to be confident in the choices you make and make sure you know why you’ve made them.”
If we approach every situation regarding our children (and our life in general) with prayer and a willing heart, God will guide us in our choices. It sounds like you have a good public school situation, which is not what I experienced growing up nor what we have as a choice for our local system now. I knew early on that I wanted to homeschool, but it wouldn’t be enough if it was only MY desire. It has to work for my kids, too, and my husband, but most importantly it has to be where I know God is leading us. I have had confirmation over and over again that it is the right decision for us and I’m “ready with an answer” for anyone who inquires about it.
I had to chuckle a little because no matter what you choose to do in parenting, there are always those (family, friends, complete strangers) who will give you a hard time and tell you that you’re doing it all wrong! We homeschool and hear negative things about that all the time from other people. You public school and get flak for that. I breastfeed and hear things like “When are you going to wean? Why would you want to do that?” and so on. Yet I hear from other mothers who choose not to/are unable to breastfeed that people try to make them feel guilt for that. Since it’s impossible to please everyone all the time, we need to remember to do what is pleasing to GOD and His calling for us. If you pray about it and still feel “guilty” in some way, then examine your choices and see if they are really lining up with His purpose for you and your family.
By the way, I do agree that it’s wise to be open to re-evaluating as necessary. What works for this season may not for the next. I don’t expect to use the same curriculum for K-12, or even for each child. Cookie cutters work for cookies, but not for people! ;0) God’s creation is very diverse and He designed each part of the “body” for a reason. God bless you!
We have done all three..christian, homeschool, public…it’s tough being a parent these days. Our favorite by far was the small, happy, and fun Christian school my kids attended (and I taught there too) in another state. God moved us to our present state and it didn’t take us long to realize we “weren’t in Kansas anymore”. The schools were much rougher and bigger and the closest Christian school was not near what we had had. It was crisis time!! After much prayer and pleading with the Lord…”surely, God, you don’t want me to homeschool these darlings!!”..God answered with a big yes! Help!!
Now four years later both my kids have adjusted and are now back in school..public..and doing well. We homeschooled for three years and they were wonderful years. If I was in an area with more support I would probably continue, but my children wanted to go to school and now at 11 and 14 have a firmer foundation in their faith that is helping them face the pressure…not to mention some great friends too. Before now though, I did not feel they were ready..nor was I. They are having opportunities that is stretching their faith and thanks to a great youth group and support at home and with friends, they are thriving…not that life is perfect. We spend many nights talking through things, praying as a family and asking God for creativity and wisdom in raising these precious kids.
I use to be one of those parents who judged others for sending their kids to such “pagan public schools” until I was faced with the situation where there were no options. The truth is everyone’s situation is different. Different areas having different opportunities. Better schools in some areas, better homeschool support in others. Some areas just don’t have Christian schools and even if they do, they are very expensive. Thankfully God is big enough to guide each of us to what is best for our particular families and probably do some heart surgery in the process. That was the case for me.
I’m so very thankful for the years we homeschooled, for the years my kids got the Christian school experience and now that they are in public they are learning how to live for Christ in the midst of some tough stuff. It is making them stronger and for that I am forever grateful. To God be the glory for the great things He has done and will continue to do as I submit my plans to Him and embrace His plans for me and mine.
Great post Kristen. I believe we need to listen to the Holy Spirit and our children and do what is right for each one. At the moment I have one son in high school, one in middle school, and one in elementary. All are home schooled. But we have done it all in the past – public, private, and home. My oldest will graduate from an on-line academy. He went to a public high school for a semester and hated it. He needed to be home. My middle schooler likes being home schooled and is doing well, but will probably attend a public high school because of the music opportunities (his dream is to play the quads in marching band). We are also awaiting an adoption placement from the foster care system. Homeschooling won’t even be an option for several months until the adoption is finalized. And we will handle that decision the same way. We will do what is best for the child and our family. And we’ll pray – always, no matter where they are schooled!
Great post! The bottom line is exactly what you said….each family makes the decision that is best for them. I’ve prayed frequently about it, and turns out that our initial decision continues to be the best thing for our family. I’m so glad to read this post at this time.
When my daughter was young we made the decision that she would attend a Christian school… if there wasn’t one where we lived we would homeschool. Public school wasn’t on our radar at all. My husband passed away the year before our daughter started school and I kept with the decision we’d made, she attends a small Christian school where I am blessed to work.
the decision was made because in our area the public school are not that good. I know that this decision was Spirit led. I have friends who homeschool, send their kids to public school and who’s kids go to Christian school…in each situation I know that the decision is what works for them. I don’t view any of them as giving their child less than I give my daughter.
I’m thankful for this post, I wish more people would understand that God leads us all in different directions…He knows our needs and our strengths!
I homescholed my first daughter up until her freshman year of highschool, and this year i put my 4th grader and 1st grader in public school for the very first time. My work schedule changed, as in, I had to work.. I have struggled all summer with this decision and feel like I failed my 2 younger ones, especially my 1st grader. And at times felt like exactly what I was doing was sending them straight into the enemies hands. But I know that God has a plan for my girls and He loves them so much more than I, so I’m embracing this new schooling and reminding myself that I am an example to my girls in all ways, not just at home where things are somewhat easier, but in life and the world and all the ugly that comes with it. I’ve now lived on both sides of this and when I homeschooled I got negative responses from people and now that I’m in the public schools I’m getting just as much….So I’m choosing to focus on us and what’s best for us right in this moment and keeping my eyes open to see God move in my girls lives. Thanks for this honest post, needed it!!!
Well said. I homeschool but do not expect or think that it is for everyone. What I do think is important, is for people to carefully weigh all the options, and pray. To do that which they think God is leading them to do and that which is best for their children and family as a whole. I think we get on dangerous ground when we just do something just because that is the expected thing to do. We as Christians should be working to be obedient to God and pleasing Him.
Al I have to say is Amen. and Amen. I send my little alien children to public school for the same reasons. And yes, I do believe they are learning to be lights in a dark world. When my daughter helps a friend stand up to a bully she is shining light. When my son insists “God IS real.” to his friends at lunch, he is shining light. Personally, I believe it is better for them to get these little bits of practice now while I am still readily accessible to help and coach them through their questions than to throw them in the deep end by themselves when they graduate.
I love this post! I homeschool my children, and I find that too many moms hold judgment towards other parents because they aren’t making the same schooling decisions. Many think that I’m doing my children an injustice my keeping them home. To me, it is my calling. MY calling. Perhaps not yours, and perhaps not the lady’s down the street. I also find that some homeschool parents think that homeschooling is THE only way. I don’t agree with this either! God knows our children, and He knows what is best for each of them. The key is for each of us parents to be fully surrendered to the will of God. Too many parents don’t even PRAY about which option is best for their children, and this is where problems arise.
In my opinion. 😀
We homeschooled my oldest son and daughter through 5th grade and then my husband decided to quit his job (where he made $ !) to start his own business. He needed me to work full time to help him get it started and he’d supported me through wanting to homeschool for 6 years and I knew I needed to do what he needed me to do. I also knew I couldn’t work full time and homeschool… I would lose it. So, last year all three of my kids started school… 1 kindergardener and two 5th graders… we started our business and I’m still working there. The kids have made great transitions and we actually just finished the 4th week of “middle school”… and everyone is still alive! You know what the hardest part was? My homeschooling friends dropped me like I was hot… and I had laughed and cried and studied the bible and problem solved with these women for years, but this one decision erased all of that. It’s been a great year and a bit for our family and we’re doing lots of things differently ( I don’t bake organic bread all the time, grow a garden, or agonize about what read alouds go with our history curriculum) but I still love my kids and care about them and play with them and pray over and with them. I was probably too judgemental of other moms when I homeschooled (even if it was just in my mind), but never again… I’ve experienced first hand what that judgement feels like, and I won’t ever inflict that on anyone!
I hate it when parents get on the my-way-is-the-only-way bandwagon. I home school and I don’t like to be around other home school parents who think ALL parents should be teaching their kids. And just b/c a parent keeps his/her kid at home for school doesn’t mean he/she is doing a good job. God called me to do it, and He will be the One to continue to guide me in this decision. It is tough and there have been many days when I’d have liked to pile ’em all up and drop ’em off at our local public school’s doorstep!! Home schooling is the right thing for our family right now, though. 🙂
You said it best….”To each his own”.
As moms, we need to stop being so critical of each other. Good for you for doing what you feel is best for you and your family. You seem like a very prayerful mom, and I know you let God lead you in things like this. I hope your kids have a great school year!
Both of our daughters, now 20 and 17, are in college. They spent their entire educational years in public school. I would say exactly the same thing about our public schools as you have said about yours. They are caring, loving and wonderful young women and they faired quite well in our public school system. As you so aptly pointed out, we all make the best decisions we can when it comes to educating our children. For us, the public school system was the right choice. Is it the right choice for everyone? Certainly not. Having said that, everyone should be respectful of others’ choices and what works best for each of us, individually. Wouldn’t it be better to encourage one another rather than being critical? Wouldn’t the world be a nicer place if we practiced what we preach to our children? Think about it.
We’ve decided to start homeschool our young’un right after we return from a short camping trip next week. Sometimes I’m terrified. For a LONG time, I’ve avoided telling anyone. I’m not 100% sure why, but I think it’s mostly because of all the judgments we’ll get. I don’t really care anymore. That might change after the next condescending look I receive. But, God has given us the opportunity to do it in a place where we are very uncomfortable with the public school system. I’m praying it will work out!
Thanks for letting me spout that off. =)
Wow…who knew that this was still such a debate! As a mother of adult children I can say what I have to say from exprience…that is that it is a choice of the parents and of the children. My oldest didn’t like Christain school so he went to public and he didn’t like that either so with one credit left…he DROPPED OUT! Needless to say we were devastated…but that is the kind of child is was and is as an adult…a rebel. He DOES NOT conform and questions everthing and neither the private christain or the public schools could handle that. As parents of a senior we were not prepared to start homeschooling and it would not have mattered because he would not have participated. He did go on and get his GED and is a very happy, well adjusted young man. My youngest son went to public elementary and when middle school was approaching we had enrolled him in a private, christain school. BUT he wanted to go on with his friends and we let him. Before the year was up…he begged us to go to the christain school…but he had to wait until the following year because they were full. Luckily he got in and went from 7th grade on until he graduated with honors. He went on to college, married his HS sweetheart and now they are both living and working in Pittsburgh PA in their choosen fields. One thing you learn as a parent is that as your children grow you really do not have any CONTROL over their emotional development. But that is why God gave them freewill and alls we can do is give them a really good foundation to trust in their own CHOICES because with confidence comes good decesion making. So as parents you must show confidence in them and in your own decisions no matter where you send them to be schooled. Hope this helps, fondly, Roberta
We chose public schools for almost the exact same reasons you do. We continued on to middle school for the same reasons and will continue to high school (barring something tragic) next year. Our school is one of the most admired, cleanest, well respect, character counts schools in Iowa.
It also helps my husband is the chief of police and is very well aware of what is happening with whom. Our child isn’t the most popular by choice. We don’t allow him to run around the streets on his bike without a purpose (sad those days in America are over) and he’s not allowed to go with just anyone who asks.
All we can do is the best we can do and some days that’s not enough and some days? it’s right up there with sliced bread! 🙂
I love this post.
It seems no matter which way I have gone, there has always been someone who has been critical of our family choices.
Last year we chose to homeschool. This year, we decided to send my son to public school for 1st grade. It was not an easy decision, but it is one that we believe has been God-led and is the right one for our family.
I do not understand why everyone feels such a huge need to judge others based upon the choices they make. We all do what is best for our family. Why can we not just support one another in that?
With four children ranging in grades 4-12 and a previous 13yr military career we’ve experienced every school scenario inaginable. Many different public schools, including Dept. of Defense public school in Korea, three different Christian schools, and now home schooling. We have a senior in christian school, freshman in public school, 6th and 4th grade homeschooling. We have always tried to do what was best for each individual child at any particular time. There is no one perfect school choice.
Thank you for this. I am generally feeling like I’m judged for not homeschooling since most of the people I know are. They aren’t judging me, but I feel bad that I can’t be that homeschooling mom. But I think it’s going to be awesome for my 2nd born to be able to be the oldest at home for a few hours everyday. Thanks for the encouragement.
AMEN, sister!
I’m a follower of Jesus who LOVES the public school and is called to homeschool. I’m usually embarrassed to say I homeschool for fear of 1) them telling me how terrible the public schools are and isn’t it great to shelter my children? or 2) them assuming I am a modern-day Pharisee.
Thank you, Jesus, for the safety and security found in YOU alone, the acceptance that You provide.
And thanks, Kristen, for tackling a controversial issue with grace.
In Him,
Karen
My four children have all had a public school education. The youngest has just started her Jr. year in a new high school because we moved (hard!) My oldest three have chosen an amazing Christian University in WA called Whitworth. The tuition is worth it for a time in their lives when they’re turning into adults who want to impact our world and build a community of friends that will last a lifetime. I’ve taught in both private & public schools and parents need to do what fits their family, finances and children. I just met a new friend who has her kids in public except during middle school- maybe that would be a solution for you!
Can I just say, “You Rock!” Thanks for being so open.
I like how you say, “I trust God with their education and their lives.” Hopefully we all do…as homeschoolers or go-to schoolers. God can use us, and them, wherever we are.
We have an awesome school that combines homeschooling and go-to-school. 2 days a week they stay home and complete all their assignments, and then they go to school the other days and get new concepts. The school picks the curriculum, so I didn’t have to stress about that. It works for us.
I put my 7th grader into public school after 6 years at the other school, and he did super! God told me…as I fretted over this decision, “I’ve got him.” And He does.
Praying for your big announcement – Missy in AZ
I sooooo appreciate this post!! I am on board with all that you said!!
We did homeschool for a couple of years……my oldest for Kindergarten, and Gr. 1, the second just for kindergarten…….and now I have my 3 girls going to public school (Gr.1, Gr. 3 and Gr. 6) and my sweet little 3yr old boy at home still. I commend those that choose to homeschool, but don’t feel that it is for me. And there was a lot of guilty feelings when I decided to stop homeschooling.
Thank you for this post! 🙂
Four months into our parenting careers we knew we had to trust God and just do what was right for our family, since it was what God was giving our family. My husband and I traded working from home and office so we didn’t pay for daycare for our son. The mornings I would go to work and DH would stay home. Then I would come home after lunch and DH would go to the office. After a year of that crazy time my office told me I wouldn’t be allowed to do it anymore. So, my husband stayed home full time. We didn’t know IRL a single family who had that situation. But it was how God planned it for us.
Now I stay home with two kids and homeschool the 5 year old. It is what works for our family. And education is important to us and we will constantly consider all options to see where God wants us… which might mean in a few years we are in the drop off/ pick up lane.
Thanks for a great post. I think everyone should be reminded every once in a while that every family is different and we all have different paths to walk.
What works best for our family right now is public kindergarten for the 5 year-old and part-time daycare for the 2.5 year-old. My husband is a full-time pastor, and I’m a part-time high school teacher. We live in the best district in the state, and the woman who watches our youngest goes to our church and loves her almost as much as we do. The reason I work part-time is so that I can pick up the girls at a decent time and still have the opportunity to play with them and give them both quantity and quality time. My girls are smart. Smart enough that public school probably isn’t enough to fill their knowledge-hungry tummies quite enough. But my husband and I are involved and supplement at home, so they’re getting experiences with other people outside our home, practice loving people different from them, etc, and they’re also getting the stability and teaching in the home that they desperately need. We think it’s the best for them right now, and if that changes we will certainly reevaluate what we’re doing. I appreciate your attitude, because it’s so difficult when you have good reasons for doing what you do and people judge you for doing it differently than they do. I love my children and I’m doing what my God, my husband and I think is best for them.
Right now our boys are homeschooled. I always said I would never homeschool, and our oldest was in a Christian school for two years. This year we are called to homeschool. Next year . . . ? I have learned never to say never. My husband and I both have no peace at all about the thought of public school. But God could change our hearts. We just do our best to stay open to His plan and His way.
That was excellent encouragement and I needed to hear it today. I have home schooled up until this year and last week I sent my children off to our (excellent) public elementary school. I’m getting it from both sides. Home school moms ask me why and public school families and teachers ask me why. I’m caught on defense in each situation.
I’m standing strong. It works for us right now and that is what counts. Thanks for the post.
We have a saying at our house that we try to apply to all situations, “We haven’t walked a mile in their shoes so we can’t judge what they does.” We have homeschooled and public schooled and will continue to assess each year what is best for each child. I do get very tired of people judging our decision on both sides.
My son is not yet in school. My husband and I have talked about the possibility of homeschooling. However, what your poster should keep in mind, is that not all parents are equipped to homeschool their children. I like to *think* that my husband and I are of above average intelligence, but I don’t believe that either of us would be good in the role of teacher for my son. We are doing our best to raise our son as a strong Christian, and if we do that job well, we should not have to worry about the “darkness” he encounters at school. My husband and I were both public school kids and we both had good Christian friends we associated with because of the example and expectations of our parents.
Right now I am homeschooling my Kindergartner and Pre-Ker. As a former Public school teacher, I never thought I’d be doing this. We chose homeschool because we couldn’t afford private school and the public school we’re zoned for is not too great. Also … we PRAYed about it. I’m committed to it for a year to year basis. I’m very open to whatever God would have us do. I’m not against Public school at all. My family was introduced to the church by my 1st grade teacher … so to say that PS is a Dark place … is a little off. God is Good, Faithful, and in Control.
What a timely post! I was actually crying to my husband last night about how much I want to homeschool my daughter (who is in her second week of kindergarten at our public school). Our city has a GREAT public school system (98% students in the whole district passed reading TAKS, 99% passed math, and 100% passed math and social studies). The school was also voted the #4 best place to work in our large metro area (that’s of ALL companies, not just school districts). I have absolutely no reason to not want our daughter in public school, other than I feel like, as a Christian, I should be homeschooling. Then, I read your post earlier today and it just touched my heart. AND, after reading your post, I read an article in our local magazine about our new superintendent, and in it he mentions that he got a degree in education, but in college he started working as a cartoonist for his college newspaper, and then got a job as a cartoonist right out of college. He said that he decided to stop being a cartoonist and find a job as a teacher, because, AS A CHRISTIAN, he did not feel comfortable making a living making fun of other people, and he wanted to work in a service oriented career where he could make a positive difference in other’s lives. I started crying- first your post, then the article about the superintendent- I believe that was God’s way of letting me know that we have made the right choice!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for posting this!
I love this post, and I admire the way you wrote it. We have also chosen public school, mainly because we prayed about it and God made it pretty clear that that’s where we need to be. It has been an awesome experience. Our oldest just went to college, and we’re so thankful that she’s chosen a Christian college. Go figure. 🙂
Anyway, here are links to a couple of posts I wrote about our public school choice:
http://mylifeonthewildside.blogspot.com/2009/09/choosing-public-school-part-1.html
http://mylifeonthewildside.blogspot.com/2009/09/choosing-public-school-part-2.html
Hopefully over the weekend I’ll have time to read through your comments. I’m sure they are so interesting!
We are currently using public school for our 5th grader. He has been in the same neighborhood public school since K and I am very happy with our decision so far. This was the best choice for us at this time but I am always open to revisiting our choice and changing it as necessary. I am a little concerned about heading to middle school next year but we will take that one day at a time. We originally made the choice because there were no other local private schools that met our requirements and homeschooling was not an option for us at the time.
I for one never thought I would use public school. I went to Christian school from 2nd grade to graduation and admit that I had an attitude towards public school. However the small town we live in has good elementary schools (some are better than others and we are in one of the two highest rated ones), it’s a 100 year old school with alot of history and neighborhood support and is two blocks from my house. But most importantly they welcome parental involvement. These are great women who really care about the kids and I actually know where 3/4 of them attend church. And yes some kids bring certain behaviors/language from home but guess what, in the christian school I knew kids like that too. Many of them were kicked out of public schools so their parents sent them to Christian school in the hopes they could straighten them out. My cousin just graduated in June from a christian school and I know of at least 5 kids in that class who are in real trouble with drugs/alcohol/other illegal activities. Christian school is no guarantee.
Ok. If you are up for a great read on this topic, read Going Public by David and Kelli Pritchard. They are an amazing Christian couple who have written a book about how Christians can “send” their kids to public school – and how Christian kids can actually succeed there. I feel like Christians have lost touch with the Gospel and are homeschooling or private schooling for the wrong reasons. You are right, you must do what is best for you and your family. But, KNOW why you are doing it. Don’t just do it because it’s what “most Christian” do. Thanks for your post!
All I have to say is Amen!!
From a mom who has sent her kids to school and has home schooled
I agree with the other comments…you have handled this with grace. 🙂
We have kids ranging from 2 to 18. Some are in public school, some at home.
We only homeschool the ones we love. HAHAHAHA JUST kidding.
We have found that bringing our kids home for 7th and 8th grade to work on their integrity, moral issues, our parent-child relationship, and overall character is a great solution to the education dilemma in our house. It creates an opportunity for us to protect them from 2 really hard years of peer influence and allows us to see if they are ready for public high school.
In fact, we have given our highschoolers a choice. One chose to stay home and be homeschooled through highschool..and one chose the public school.
If this ever stops working, we will stop doing it.
What every mom needs to remember, whether they homeschool or not, is that your child’s education doesn’t stop when they step off a bus. It is not a responsibility that begins and ends with the “school years.”
It is our job to always be seeking out ways to teach our children the things that they need to know. Biblically and practically.
What matters is that we listen to God and what He is asking us to do. (And it never hurts to examine our own motives!)
Kristen, you are a delight. Your blog has exploded since I first began reading it 3 years ago and I am so proud of the choices you are making with your blog.
Thanks for inspiring all of us to “tread lightly” on one another as well.
Have a blessed weekend!
Becky, the Maid
Wow! thank you. This is one refreshing read, right here. I know for us ,our kids are a couple of years away from school age… but the pressure is already on.
I don’t think we’ll be homeschooling our kids and already I’m “feeling guilty” from others around me – and I hate that it’s come to this and we haven’t even got there yet.
I like what you said about being confident with “your decision”. Continuing to pray and to seek Godly counsel and again, this was SOME MORE right here. Thanks so much.
What a great discussion. I was a teacher. Was totally against private schooling. (Thought it segregated us.) Thought home schoolers were strange. (Sorry) Had children (some who have difficulty in a traditional school setting), wanted private schooling (couldn’t afford it). Decided to homeschool. God shows up whenever I think I have all the answers or I have run out of them! I am glad I have learned to eat my words and apologize all at the same time!
We are going public, too, and I’ve been writing and rewriting a post about why we’ve made that choice all week. It’s so hard to communicate without sounding like you are judging other choices and you’ve done a good job here of articulating your own reasons without condemning others.
I can’t quite get past the cost of part of private education. For us, with four kids, it would be more than the price of my car to send my kids to school every year. And with all that is going on in the world, there are many ways I could spend/give >$20,000 a year that might change lives beyond what a different school setting would do for my kids. Sheesh it’s hard to say that without sounding condemning of those who do, but that’s just where we have landed. (Not that I have $20,000 laying around, mind you, but if I did . . . that could feed a lot of hungry children, you know?)
Kristen, don’t assume anything about costs. Our private school offers a “bulk discount” as I call it – each additional child is only $100 a month.
I never thought we would but we went private this year. While we’re in a financial crisis (my husband lost his job +2 years ago) it actually cost less to do private all day kindergarten than public school kindergarten + day care costs for the remainder of the day while my husband is in school. What a blessing for us! And my daughter loves it.
Next year will be tough to continue it, but we plan to be back for 2nd grade/all day Pre-K.
Boy, talk about school choice and look at all the comments! Nothing like getting people in their soft spot! 🙂
You make great points. I have three kids and have three different educational experiences. My oldest is on a full tuition scholarship at a Christian private college. She went through a combination of public schools, a brief stint of homeschool and a few years at a charter. My second is a junior in public high school, is comfortable with himself, smart, and will go on to be an engineer, I am quite sure. My youngest, an 8th grader, is homeschooled as of last year. It works better for his learning style.
Each is unique and we need to be mindful to allow each parent to make the best decision on which mode of education will work best.
I posted earlier but just feel like I should add something. Homeschooling is hard, the guilt is real and there is no place to place the blame when things head south (either with character issues or with academics). If you think there is a public/private/home debate, you should see the debate between Classical, textbooks, unschooling, Charlotte Mason, etc. We moms can always find things to disagree about but we should just call it what it is, sin. Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
I for one as a long time homeschooler would like to apologize for any judgments I have passed on anyone’s schooling choices. I am older and Lord willing wiser now and see that criticizing others’ choices does not validate mine. It works for us, but it does not work for all and it is NOT a sin issue or a fellowship divider. I pray that all of our children grow up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, it is a difficult world to grow up with MANY more temptations and enticements than when I graduated 20 years ago. They really need our prayers and encouragement and we need to be on our knees together, not clenching fists and judging each other………….
Good for you for saying this, Kristen. You said it very well.
We’ve done public school the whole way through, until this year, when we moved everyone to a small, private Christian school. There are a wide variety of reasons for this (most of them, actually, not especially spiritual ones), and I’m doing with it my eyes wide open, VERY aware of the fact that a Christian school isn’t some sort of guarantee that your kids turn all out all shiny and Jesus-loving. We did NOT have some nightmarishly bad experience in the public school; on the contrary, it was a really important part of my kids spiritual and academic journeys. But for now, this is right for us.
Great post. We have chosen to homeschool. The original reason was because I wasn’t impressed with our public school system in our town. (That still remains much of the reason). It ended up working well for us and our schedules. I didn’t do it to shelter our girls. In fact they’ve both played on soccer teams since they were 4 and have many friends who “aren’t Christians”, even going on vacation with them, etc..I don’t have a problem with public schools, private schools or homeschooling. If my kids were in school you’d better believe I’d be involved in their lives, their schools and all that went on. If they were homeschooled you’d better believe they are going to be socially capapble, making friends with a variety of people and taking their school seriously.
I think you’re right….to each his own. We take each year at a time. If my girls said they wanted to go to school, I’d say okay, and we’d have some talks and I’d send them off. My oldest is a freshman now and playing the high school soccer team.
My 5 yr old is in public school now and I love it for the same reasons you said. I don’t know what we will do in 7th grade though.
p.s. the Christian high school near us has some of the worst bullying so you never know
I have one child who has been homeschooled since kindergarten (this is the beginning of my 8th year), and one who has some emotional issues that goes to public high school., although he was homeschooled for 3 years. I basically don’t even discuss it anymore. Your schooling choices are your business, and nobody else’s. I am consistently amazed at how people think they need to pass judgment on each other. especially in the “Christian” circles, not just on schooling, but on everything.
I just wanted to encourage you to try to understand where homeschooling moms might be coming from when making comments that seem like they are saying every Christian should homeschool. I think it’s somewhat analogous to the discussion of where to deliver babies. When I had my first in the hospital I thought it was fine, but after I had a home birth suddenly that hospital birth seemed terrible…and compared to the home birth that was beautiful, powerful, spiritual, etc., it was. Now that I know the benefits and wonderfulness of homeschooling, even the best public schools would not appeal to me, and I want that same wonderful experience for other moms. Perhaps some are being judgmental, but I would hope that most moms who are encouraging homeschooling are doing so because they believe it is a wonderful thing for moms, children, families, and communities. Yes, though, “one size does not fill all”, and we should try to share our opinions without criticizing. And I second a previous commenter who said that we should live for God alone, because no matter what our choices, people will find fault with them, but if we are doing what HE wants, what other people think doesn’t matter.
Kristen – just love this post! So well written, and I agree with it 100%, even though I am a homeschool mom. We homeschool because it is right for US (at least for the time being). What I have encountered most, in our area, is that people assume that by choosing to homeschool we are making a statement about THEIR choices. And it SO has nothing to do with anyone else. I do not care how you (collectively) choose to school your children. Nor do I make decisions on what kind of people you must be, or whether or not we can be friends based on that. I love your last line, because that is what I’ve started to tell people who would give me flack: I KNOW why I homeschool – do you KNOW why you’re doing what you’re doing? Or are you just doing it because that’s what is expected of you?
Thanks for such an inspiring post!
I’ve heard similar points on the darkness of the world and sending young kids into it to be lights. I agree that they are young and not fully prepared to be lights at their ages but God is. I think you have come to a similar conclusion as I have on this matter with your point that you trust God in their lives and education. I’m doing the same. Yes even I in my old age am completely inadequate to be a light in this world apart from God. Our God is that big that He can protect our children in public school. He is control at all times and watches over us at all times. I choose to trust God and the way he leads us and the doors He opens and closes for us as we begin the school years. Honestly, I’ve come to a point that I am at peace with home schooling, public school and private school options to hand that over to God and to lean on God’s guidance on which we will pursue at any particular time.
We home school. We love it. We believe it’s best without question. But… we have lots of really, really good friends who we respect and love who send their kids to public school… They are just as passionate about how right it is to send their kids to school. We don’t get it. They don’t get us. We are so intrigued by each other over this that we often talk about our views respectfully and have really, really good conversations. We agree to disagree and just try to live together in unity like Christ asked us to.
awesome example of grace!
Have you read “Going Public” by Kelli and David Pritchard?
I’ve got a review on my blog….
http://faithandfamilyman.blogspot.com/2010/07/book-review-3-going-public-your-child.html
Well done buddy that is terrific
This blog should exist forever.
I like the valuable info you provide on your articles.
I will bookmark your weblog and take a look at once more right here frequently.
I am reasonably sure I will be informed many new stuff right here!
Good luck for the following!
It may be firm to believe that such a heaven-kissing quality can be found on low-priced A Lange Sohne replica Watches but now you can use the pressing out of a true lofty-trait A Lange Sohne Duplicate. The best open space to startle looking for an imitating of your dear makers and models are the online supplies. The broad preference of cheap A Lange Sohne 1815 Chronograph Autograph copy series is sincerely remarkable. Once you have found what you are looking for, take the duration to establish the truth of some of the particulars. Before you go ahead and make the get by payment you can writing on the peculiar type. Bring into comparison it to the uncorrupt crops and check making minutiae like the nature stage that will help you get an primeval about it. Even if we are talking about low-priced A Lange Sohne Autograph copy Watches , there still has to be a balance between the property level and the value claimed by the retailer.
Kristen,
Have you ever thought about which school option will be the most beneficial to our Church? Looking back (I’m a senior in high school who grew up with a mix of home school and private school), I am so grateful for my parents investing in a school that has amazing Christian teachers who serve their students and who believe in teaching students the truth. A point that you make for choosing public school is that it is free. While that is beneficial, it’s hard to argue that paying for a christian education is a bad thing since you’ll be paying for the right education.
Here’s a thought: If you are a Christian who is picking a church to learn and grow from, would you pick a church that would not expect you to contribute or donate any money and teach falsely? Or would you pick a church that you knew was teaching from God’s Word, even though they would ask you for financial support for mission trips, resources, etc.?
You could argue to go to the false-teaching church because you can just look at the Bible to see what is actually true, but here’s my point in all of this:
What is the point of going to a place to learn and grow when the teachers don’t want to teach about our Lord and glorify Him?
Though I do agree that God sends His people to different places, it is hard for me to understand why He would want His people to go and learn from a place that rejects Him. I am not saying that God doesn’t work in public schools and I’m not saying that public school is a horrible thing. I’m just wondering why parents would prefer sending their kids somewhere to learn at a place that doesn’t teach in line with our faith.
At my christian school: it’s safe, the teaching is exemplary and true, I love it, my friends and I are able to discuss tough theological topics with our teachers who have been trained in that area, the students lead devotions and plan chapels, and while it isn’t free or close, I know that I’m support my loving teachers and faculty who come each day to teach us more about our Lord and I’m receiving an education that strengthens my faith in God and is based on His Word.
God bless,
Abbi
I really appreciated this blog post! I am a homeschool mom who has found that VERY RARELY are other moms willing to have an open discussion about their choices regarding school. There is such a strong desire in my heart for people to truly think through, and prayerfully consider their decisions for their kids, and it is my goal to encourage confidence in those I meet. But CONFIDENCE requires complete understanding and faith! Understanding what we’re really doing, AND the alternatives.
I have created an informal survey recently for parents to take regarding education and I would be thrilled if anyone here would be willing to take a few minutes to complete it!
http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1619518/Public-Schooling-Parental-Perspectives
Blessings!
Uniswift.ae, your go-to multi-sports store, offers a fantastic range of kids t shirts designed for comfort and style. Perfect for active youngsters, our T-shirts are made from high-quality materials to ensure durability. Trust Uniswift.ae to provide the best apparel for your child's sporting and everyday needs.
As a vital component of the International medical school network, Osh University is a trusted choice for higher education, providing students with a supportive environment and a rich academic experience.