The week before you were born I had my first pedicure. It was a Mother’s Day gift from your Dad.
I didn’t have to see my feet to know they were terribly swollen.
I begged my doctor to induce me early–not because I was miserable, although yes. But mostly because I wanted to meet you.
You are my only son.
And in that one heavy statement- you have already met and exceeded every joy I thought might come with being a boy Mom.
Except for the dirt. There’s been a lot of that.
The years have been short and you become a teenager this week and with that comes a little more freedom, a lot more responsibility and big lump in your momma’s throat. Thirteen years old. I can’t keep the pantry stocked or your pants long enough. I can’t keep the girls from taking a second look at your lean body and adorable grin and I can’t keep you from flying away.
When I asked you to kiss me on the cheek for a Mother’s Day picture, you blushed and laughed and said, “I don’t really know how to kiss.” I think I will hold onto that moment forever (and try not to bring it up when you show up with a girlfriend on the doorstep in a few years).
You are changing daily. You keep more to yourself. You are quiet where you used to be loud. Your wit is razor sharp. You are growing into a man in front of me and there are some (more) things I need to tell you.
Son, there’s a part of me that would keep you young and innocent forever. But that would be selfish. Healthy things grow and you’ve got the growing up part down. The world is a difficult place to navigate, but now that you are a teenager, I have to start letting you try.
I want you to always:
Choose people over technology.
Understand that 6 out of 10 of your classmates will look up porn on the Internet to learn about sex. Don’t be a statistic. As hard as it may be, ask us.
Know there will be times you don’t like me very much. But I’m your mom and you have to get over it.
Remember when a pretty girl whispers she loves you one day that your momma loves you more.
Say you’re sorry when you need to.
Be quick to forgive and slow to anger.
Choose kindness before popularity.
Understand that girls you may be tempted to look at are somebody’s daughter or sister.
Remember social media is a powerful weapon or resource. Your choice. Use it wisely.
Know that ownership is not a right; it’s a privilege. This means your future phone and car and well, everything, is actually mine and your dad’s and we are letting you borrow it.
Have an escape plan for when you feel tempted. Joseph ran from Potipher’s wife and that’s always a good place to start.
Serve other people before you serve yourself.
Be cautious when sending a text message, a picture or replying to one that you wouldn’t want me or your Dad to receive.
Remember you can always tell your Dad and I anything. Everything. Always.
Wait for sex. Some days it will be hard. Other days harder. But wait for it. God has an order and when we stick to His plan, there is a lot of peace and fulfillment. When we get things out of order we end up carry a lot of extra baggage.
Know that God is with you every moment–in joy, in sorrow, in love and life and death.
Extend grace and forgiveness. Especially to yourself.
I love you,
Mom
Yes, yes and YES! So many of your posts are so good and speak right to where I’m at (or will be) that I’m seeing the need to be choosy about which of your posts I share…
Oh Kristen, this is beautiful! This is the post that all boys need. Hope that your boy-man has a great birthday.
Kristin, this is great… I’m a mom of 4 boys… Only have one left at home… The statement you made about order and waiting is so true…. Thank you for your blog…. I absolutely enjoy it…
This. Is. Beautiful!
I love absolutely every word of this SO much! Well said, thank you.
Perfect timing! I needed this SOOOOOO much! Thank you for posting this…
Thank you for this. My son turned 13 on the 2nd. This is the spring board I needed for some things I want to say to him.
My son is 15. I could have written every word of this. But bit as eloquently. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your heart, Kristen.
My son is 7 and just the other day I was thinking how hard it is to watch him grow. I’m truly enjoying this stage of life with him. I was humbled to read, “Son, there’s a part of me that would keep you young and innocent forever. But that would be selfish. Healthy things grow and you’ve got the growing up part down.” This is hard.
Thank you for a moving and inspiring article. As a grown man, I just wrote an article about my mom – specifically how thankful I am that she showed me Jesus in what she said and did. I can see you do the same for your son. Keep it up. There is nothing more important you can give him. God bless!
Pastor Andy Schroer
364DaysofThanksgiving.com
Well Pastor Andy , don’t leave us hanging, share what you wrote about your mother and how she showed you Jesus. We are a captive audience and probably need a few reminders ?
I sent this to my almost 15 yr old son tonight. He’d have my head for posting this, lol. I told him to read every word, all the way through. That this is how I feel as well and that it meant a lot to me for him to read it. He came into my room crying and held me for a good bit. I didn’t know why he was crying at first and thought something had happened. He said this letter made him cry and he loves me very much!!! Thank you for sharing this. Btw, my son isn’t a crier at will! And I don’t get enough long hugs from him. Thank so very much!!
My oldest son is getting ready to turn 15 and I could relate to every line you wrote. Beautifully said!
Love love love this. My son is just one years old but this speaks to all of the things I want to teach him when he is a teenager. I hope to share a letter like this to him when he is able to understand. Thank you for the inspiration!
I am just seeing this although you posted it several months ago. It was perfect timing because it captures exactly what I am feeling. As my 13 year old is starting his final year of JrHigh, I am happy to see the young man he’s becoming… Yet sad at the same time when I think about how little time we have left. He’s starting to test his wings and then one day, we’ll have to let him fly. Your beautifully stated post brought tears to my eyes!