Hi Kids,
This week your dad and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage and I need to tell you a few important things.
First of all, twenty years.
Your dad married me two days before my 22nd birthday. It was the best birthday of my life.
He surprised me on our wedding day and sang to me and we’ve been making music together since.
(Yeah, this officially makes us old. And gross. Keep reading.)
You know how as musicians you play a piece over and over again, until you get it right? And sometimes even with all the practice and perseverance, you don’t play it perfectly, but you still make music? And then sometimes, you play it and the sound fills the room and you know you’ve nailed it?
That’s what marriage is like.
It’s a lot of hard work, it takes a lot of practice, a lot of redoing and fine tuning. There are missed notes and off days mixed with magical moments and beautiful melodies. And if you ask an accomplished musician if they’ve ever played a piece perfectly, they answer no. But they keep playing.
A good marriage isn’t about one bad day or one good one. It’s about not quitting on either.
Your dad and I have had both. You’ve seen some good and bad and there are stories of freedom and forgiveness we will tell you when you’re ready.
A good marriage is about looking for the small gifts that we don’t always see.
Like when your dad got home in the middle of the night recently from his out-of-state trip. It wasn’t because of a delayed flight, it was because he stopped to help a man in the parking lot jump his car. I used to get angry about things like this–arriving home late, making dinner wait, but when I really look past the small inconveniences, I see the big heart of a good man, always looking for ways to help other people.
Daughters, this is the kind of man I married.
And it’s the kind I pray for in your future.
I pray you’re the kind of wife who counts the good your husband does more than you count the bad.
I pray you’re the kind of wife that says I’m sorry first.
I pray you’re the kind of wife who asks Jesus for help.
Because that’s the kind of wife I want to be.
Son, since you were a little boy, you’ve been trying on your dad’s shoes. Keep following his steps.
I pray you’re the kind of husband who makes your wife laugh until her sides ache.
I pray you’re the kind of husband who whispers over your wife in prayer when she’s asleep.
I pray you’re the kind of husband who will love God more than anything else.
I pray you’re the kind of husband who will bring sweet tea on sour days.
Because that’s the kind of dad you have.
I pray you know deep, abiding love. I pray you are each other’s favorite people. I pray you are good forgivers when you drive each other crazy and believe in each other when you can’t believe in yourself.
I pray you have half of what we have.
Most of all, I pray you keep God in the middle to draw you closer to each other. I pray you keep Him above you to remind you that life is a breath and to look for the gift in every day. Because He can take the bad days and hard moments and turn them into beautiful years.
And one day when you look back, it will sound a lot like music.
Love,
Mom
That is awesome. I hope my marriage is like that. Your husband is one lucky man to have a wife that can see all that in him.
Thank You for sharing.
Happy anniversary.
My parents just celebrated their 40th, and I think if they were writers, this is what they would have said. Beautiful, Kristen.
This was beautiful – thanks so much for sharing!
Your essay needs to be a required reading, once month, by everyone between the ages of 13 and forever… the message is strong and clear…
Beautiful words that any child would want to hear! Congrats on 20 amazing years together!
This is amazing. Praise God!
Thank you for all of the laughter, wisdom and truth you impart through you writing for all of us who are on the journey. We are “that” fan club. Merry Christmas!
I was raised in a family such as yours. My parents are no longer here on earth with us, but they saw to it that God was in our lives. He is the center of my world and my children are being raised that way as well. This letter to your children is a great idea and really gets the message across better than just saying it. Thank you for sharing! God Bless you and your family!
Your words are very inspiring. I have been married for 32 years, together 35 with my husband and have been separated for 4 months now. We have had our ups and downs, (good music & bad, also) but we both are not ready to give up just yet. Still working on our marriage and I’m hoping to be back together very soon. Thank You, Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you for sharing this. (We know you didn’t have to.) This is such a beautiful letter.
Marriage is probably THE hardest job ever!
God holds us together; that’s one thing my husband and I agree on 100%. We love to serve Him together, give when and how much we feel called to give (even if we can’t always see how finances will work) and we help people when the Holy Spirit shows us people who need help. I pray our kids have a better and closer marriage than we have.
We know the enemy has been attacking marriage since Adam and Eve. God designed marriage and it’s a very beautiful thing.
It’s a blessing to hear about 20th anniversaries. It’s a blessing to your children to have this wonderful letter. Happy and blessed anniversary! And here’s to many more!
Happy Anniversary you guys! What a lovely tribute!!
Happy Anniversary and so beautifully written! I am going on 22 years at the end of the month and I might just put a copy of this on my kids’ breakfast plate that morning. Merry Christmas!
Thank you so much for the beautiful inspiration. My husband and I will be celebrating 32 years in a couple days and I’ll be writing a letter to our kids too!
This was a lovely message and excellent advice!
Excellent! Greatly inspiring! What a precious gift your husband has in you; and your children too…
Today is our 20th wedding anniversary (July 20th 2015). It’s been awesome and we give God all the glory.
I pray your love will grow stronger and stronger to the point that it will mend homes and draw men to God’s Kingdom.
Please permit us to share the beautiful words of your letter to our children.
God bless you, dear Kristen.
Thank you for sharing your journey and insights with us. Your letter serves as a reminder that love, commitment, and nurturing a relationship are continuous efforts. Wishing you many more years of happiness and love together valley of fire all-inclusive packages!
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