Kristen Welch

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My Life

Turn Those Two-Step-Forward-One-Step-Backward Days Into A Dance

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Today I received some long-awaited (good) answers to some big questions at Mercy House and I was thrilled with the news, so overwhelmed that I let out a rare whoop! I threw my hands in the air and loudly said in front of the staff, “if Jesus came back right now, I would feel so accomplished with my life!” I’m pretty sure I scared some people.

Today is a good day.

Four hours later . . .

I sat on my bed at home, pouring over unpaid medical bills, worried about raising Mercy House’s budget another year, angry with a situation out of my control and before I knew it, I was crying into my pillow, “Jesus come back so I don’t have to deal with any of this any more . . .”

Today is rough.

Y’all. These are actual thoughts inside my head on the same day.

And if I hadn’t been having such a pity party, I would have laughed at my extremes.

Fearless and afraid. Full of faith and completely lacking it. Daring to dream and also wishing I’d never gotten out of bed. It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth. This is me. I’m the leader with a limp. I’m the unlikely, introverted mom who started a non-profit and who still doubts a miracle working Savior.

One minute I feel like I’m just getting started on this journey with God and I’m full of audacious plans and the next minute I’m angry at Him for getting me into this mess. Too honest? Yeah, sorry.

More often than not, my days turn out to be two-step-forward-one-step-backwards ones. This has been my journey. In some ways, you could say I’m balanced–half sane, half crazy; half brave, half afraid, half certain, half unsure.

When I look behind me, it’s kind of a wild trail of self-doubt and surrender; willfulness and obedience. It’s definitely not pretty, but if you look close, you can trace the progress. Even with all the crazy switchbacks and backtracking, we are getting somewhere.  Growth isn’t always linear.

So, tonight I had a good cry, felt a bit sorry for myself and cursed the mountains still looming over me and then I dried my tears and I gave myself this pep talk–maybe you need to hear it, too:

Pull it together, girl.

Enjoy the steps forward -revel in them for a minute. You worked hard. You did good.

Give yourself a moment to cry over today’s setback, go ahead, lick your wounds–

but don’t let it turn into tomorrow’s fear.

Now, do the math: two minus one is still one. That’s something.

Plus, it’s all in the way you look at it. Two steps forward and one step back isn’t failure, it’s a cha cha.

Your missteps might just encourage someone else.
So, just hush and dance.

Sometimes turning those two-step-forward-one-step-backward days into a dance is just a matter of perspective.

So, Here’s An Egg-Cellent Idea

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When I first met Judy three years ago, she scared me. All 92 pounds of her. Maybe you remember that day? I was in Kenya and we were visiting a new group of street women who were meeting at a Catholic Church for showers and a meal twice a week because they were homeless. It was the day I learned about the black market that stole babies from sleeping street mothers. We were desperate to help them so we partnered with the nuns to provide sewing lessons for the two women in the group who could ... Read More

It’s Not Too Late

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I sat on the edge of the hospital bed and listened to an elderly friend talk about their health life. The conversation turned to their life. The clock on the wall ticked its rhythm, but it was the regret I heard loudest. "There are so many things I should have done--wanted to do. But I was afraid to take a risk. I played it safe. I didn't say yes to God when He asked. I wasn't always a good person. I got more things wrong then right. And now, it's too late..." the words trailed off as I ... Read More

Rise + Shine (New Year Flash Sale)

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A couple of my kids are back to school today and it's like the apocolypse around here. Half of me is ready for the structured routine and freshness of a New Year but the lazy half of me would like to just live in that weird space between Christmas and New Year's where my home became a a frat house with odd eating and sleeping hours and a mess in every room. If anything, I'm consistent. I'm not big on resolutions or one words, although I've done both over the years. But this year, ... Read More

5 Things Parents Who Raise Grateful, World-Changing Kids Don’t Do

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"Mom. why did you tell our family at dinner that I've worked 60 hours over the Christmas break? You're always exaggerating," my usually agreeable son asked me after Christmas dinner. Me: "Because you did. Add them up," I replied, still a little embarrassed that my "easy" kid called me out in front of everyone for bragging on his hard work at Chick Fil A. Him: "I added them. I worked 59.5," he shrugged and walked off. Parenting is never easy and as hard as I try, I never quite get it ... Read More

Mercy Christmas

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Every time I tried to type "Merry Christmas" this week, it was autocorrected to "Mercy Christmas." I decided that sometimes autocorrect is a lot wiser than me.  This Christmas is different from past ones for me. I've got new fears surrounding the health of my family and what this next year will bring and a deep weariness that I cannot shake as I journey my broken way. Before bed, I was texting a close friend all my worry and woes and I said, "God truly forges the Gospel to hard places ... Read More

Are You My Neighbor?

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After church on Sunday, we drove 40 minutes and parked in front of an apartment complex in Houston. Our family stood at a stranger's door in the brisk December wind and I noticed the aged foil Santa Clause decoration that hung on the front door was upside down. Just like the lives inside. We knocked and a young Muslim woman answered and greeted us with a bow. I told her my name and introduced my family. She translated in broken English to her mother and aunt as her six fatherless siblings ... Read More

4 Ways to Battle Entitlement This Christmas Season

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I'll never forget the first time I told my husband not to get me anything for Christmas. It was the year he got me exactly what I'd asked for. Nothing. I watched my kids open their gifts, snapped pictures of their excited faces, made a big breakfast feast and I waited. I knew he was going to pull out a surprise gift. But he didn't. And I was disappointed. Inwardly, I felt like such an ungrateful brat. He was doing exactly what I told him, but the problem was I still had ... Read More