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You are here: Home / Archives for Parenting

Parenting

Maybe We Should Stop Entertaining Our Kids So Much

March 23, 2014 by Kristen

15 hours. One way.

That’s how long it took us to drive to New Mexico on Spring Break. Getting there, my children were delightful. On the long drive, they occupied themselves with reading, drawing, watching a couple of movies and asking questions about the change of scenery, and they got along well.

Clearly, we were amazing parents.

And then we piled in the car a few days later to come home. We arrived in the Land of Enchantment with one set of children and discovered they had morphed into entirely different ones for the long road home. Because all their books had been read, movies watched, pictures drawn.

There was squabbling and bickering and mostly, a lot of boredom.

While I wasn’t looking forward to the drive home either, the getting home part is sort of unavoidable, you know?

The complaining heightened to an all time high and at some point a kid from the backseat actually demanded, “Give me something to do.”

In other words, entertain me.

And this is the price we pay when we constantly entertain our kids: They cannot entertain themselves.

maybeweshouldstopentertainingourkidssomuch

Remember when we used to play outside for hours?

Now we have half a dozen screens to choose from between ipads, ipods, iphones, iii-yii-yii

Remember when kids used to use their imaginations?

Now we over schedule them with extracurriculars. .

Remember when going to the park, zoo, circus, playplace, you-name-it-in-kid-entertainment used to be reserved for a special occasion?

Now we do something every other day because our kids aren’t the only ones who are bored. Parents are too.

Maybe we should stop entertaining our kids so much.

Maybe they will start creating fun instead of depending on us to manufacture it.

Because it’s really way more about entitlement than entertainment.

Now, I have done it all. I’m a guilty parent entertainer. But I’ve realized the more I do, the more they want and the less they do for themselves. 

We live in a culture that thrives on entertainment. We crave the thrill of it. And that’s great for special days, but maintaining it constantly is doing more harm than good.

If we stop doing it, they will stop expecting it.

Because sometimes we have to wait.

Sometimes we don’t get our way.

Sometimes we are bored.

My kids ended up surviving the road trip. There was sleeping and made-up-game-playing and just old fashioned car-riding imagination.

Life isn’t always entertaining.

And the sooner our kids realize that, the sooner they realize they have the power to change that.

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57 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

9 Things We Should Get Rid of to Help Our Kids

March 16, 2014 by Kristen

She borrowed something from me. And then she lost it. Accidents happen. But it was the whole "It only cost ten bucks-you can get another one" attitude that I couldn't let happen a moment longer. So, I gave her a job that required hard work and gave her the $10 she earned and then I made her pay me for what she lost. Listen, when I realized I was more than half the problem in this whole entitlement parenting challenge, it was a wake up call. Kids naturally want what they ... Read More

Filed Under: Parenting

Dear Moms of Littles, This Might Be The Most Important Thing You Do Right Now

March 10, 2014 by Kristen

She had a two year old wrapped around her leg, holding on for dear life, while she bounced her crying newborn in her arms as we talked. "What's new with Mercy House? Oh and the refugee women in Houston?" I noted the longing in her voice. I started to answer and she whispered wistfully, barely audible over newborn noises, "I'm jealous of your life." I almost laughed off the comment--because my day had consisted of a crammed  "to do" list,  computer issues, a rushed meeting, dragging boxes ... Read More

77 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

I Think We May Be Missing Something Very Important

February 23, 2014 by Kristen

It was a hot February day in Texas. We only had a handful of volunteers and hundreds of needy refugees had already formed a line, so everybody had a job. Even our kids. Especially our kids. From across the parking lot, I watched my 14 year old give directions to the handful of kids barely taller than her waist. This small army of children were  in charge of the mound of toiletry and hygiene items we were sharing with refugees in our city. I blinked back tears as they divided the supplies ... Read More

108 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

How To Pray for Your Strong-Willed Children

January 22, 2014 by Kristen

My little girl barged into the bathroom while I was  soaking in the tub. My head snapped up from my book. She walked over to the edge of the tub and stuck both hands in my warm water. And wildly splashed. There went my relaxation. And my privacy (thanks, broken bathroom door lock). And my temper. "Please don't touch the water again," I whispered through gritted teeth. She stared at me and let her fingers hover over the water, so close to touching, but not quite. So, obeying. ... Read More

66 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

The Most Important Thing We Can Teach Our Kids in an Over-Sexualized World

January 15, 2014 by Kristen

It was the middle of the night. Or day. Or whatever that fog of time is called when your jet-lagged family is in-between flights at an airport in Paris, on the other side of the world. We had an extra hour and we were on a mission to find Chapstick for our windburned lips. We stumbled into one of those airport stores that has everything from duty free cigarettes to luggage and split up to start our search. My husband walked one way, but I thought I spotted the familiar red and white tubes and ... Read More

30 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

What Really Happens When We Give Kids Everything They Want

January 8, 2014 by Kristen

"I want it." Why? Because everyone else has it." (Or does it.  Or wears it.) It's a conversation we've had countless times in our house. It doesn't matter what it's about--the newest technology, the latest fad, the most popular shoes- it's treacherous ground to add it to our want list so we can be like everyone else. These five dangerous words are turning homes upside down. When we give our children everything they want (because everyone else has it), it speeds up their childhood: ... Read More

249 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

5 Signs Kids are Struggling with Entitlement

December 18, 2013 by Kristen

I finally wrapped a couple of gifts and put them under the tree. I don't know about your house, but the minute I do this every year, my kids get really interested in what's happening under the tree. Curiosity kills my kids. And the cat. "Mom, when are you taking us shopping to buy gifts for you and Dad?" one of my kids asked. "Do you have money to buy gifts?" I asked. Eery silence. "Well, I was thinking you could give us money. Um, to buy your gifts with," came the answer. Every ... Read More

250 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

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