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Kristen

A Letter to My Teenaged Son

May 12, 2015 by Kristen

The week before you were born I had my first pedicure. It was a Mother’s Day gift from your Dad.

I didn’t have to see my feet to know they were terribly swollen.

I begged my doctor to induce me early–not because I was miserable, although yes. But mostly because I wanted to meet you.

You are my only son.

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And in that one heavy statement- you have already met and exceeded every joy I thought might come with being a boy Mom.

Except for the dirt. There’s been a lot of that.

The years have been short and you become a teenager this week and with that comes a little more freedom, a lot more responsibility and big lump in your momma’s throat.  Thirteen years old. I can’t keep the pantry stocked or your pants long enough. I can’t keep the girls from taking a second look at your lean body and adorable grin and I can’t keep you from flying away.

When I asked you to kiss me on the cheek for a Mother’s Day picture, you blushed and laughed and said, “I don’t really know how to kiss.” I think I will hold onto that moment forever (and try not to bring it up when you show up with a girlfriend on the doorstep in a few years).

A Letter to My Teenaged Son

You are changing daily. You keep more to yourself. You are quiet where you used to be loud. Your wit is razor sharp. You are growing into a man in front of me and there are some (more) things I need to tell you.

Son, there’s a part of me that would keep you young and innocent forever. But that would be selfish. Healthy things grow and you’ve got the growing up part down. The world is a difficult place to navigate, but now that you are a teenager, I have to start letting you try.

I want you to always:

Choose people over technology.

Understand that 6 out of 10 of your classmates will look up porn on the Internet to learn about sex. Don’t be a statistic. As hard as it may be, ask us.

Know there will be times you don’t like me very much. But I’m your mom and you have to get over it.

Remember when a pretty girl whispers she loves you one day that your momma loves you more.

Say you’re sorry when you need to.

Be quick to forgive and slow to anger.

Choose kindness before popularity.

Understand that girls you may be tempted to look at are somebody’s daughter or sister.

Remember social media is a powerful weapon or resource. Your choice. Use it wisely.

Know that ownership is not a right; it’s a privilege. This means your future phone and car and well, everything, is actually mine and your dad’s and we are letting you borrow it.

Have an escape plan for when you feel tempted. Joseph ran from Potipher’s wife and that’s always a good place to start.

Serve other people before you serve yourself.

Be cautious when sending a text message, a picture or replying to one that you wouldn’t want me or your Dad to receive.

Remember you can always tell your Dad and I anything. Everything. Always.

Wait for sex. Some days it will be hard. Other days harder. But wait for it. God has an order and when we stick to His plan, there is a lot of peace and fulfillment. When we get things out of order we end up carry a lot of extra baggage.

Know that God is with you every moment–in joy, in sorrow, in love and life and death.

Extend grace and forgiveness. Especially to yourself.

I love you,

Mom

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17 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

Because Sometimes Being the Meanest Mom Might Also Make You Mother of the Year

April 30, 2015 by Kristen

You've probably seen it by now. The viral video of the Baltimore mother in bright yellow beating the hell out of her rioting teenaged son in the middle of the street. She's being called "mother of the year" by some and abusive by others. And whether you're cheering her on after watching the video or wanting to call child protective services, I'd bet a dollar her son has called her the "meanest mom in the world" before their very public moment. Listen. I've been called it for much ... Read More

53 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

The One Thing You Can Do for Your Kid Who Sabotages Family Time

March 29, 2015 by Kristen

We sat around the dinner table finishing up our tacos, shredded lettuce and cheese scattered about. "Okay, everyone, finish up and I'll pass out the Bibles," my husband said. For years now, we've made an attempt to Break Bread after we've consumed it. Its been the optimal time for our family to connect, read a devotion or Scripture or two for a few minutes. Dinner is one of the only times during the day we are all together, mostly still and quiet. I've said this several times, but it's ... Read More

20 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

God Can Redeem Anything.

January 21, 2015 by Kristen

We sat in a circle and we waited. She cleared her throat and began telling her story, looking over at her husband as he nodded in support. I was 15 and in high school. I made mistakes. I got pregnant. It was so hard and I felt very alone. I leaned in because I wanted to hear the whole story. She told of the absent teen father, how her parents did the hard work of mostly raising her baby so she could finish school. When her child was 5 years old, she got married. To the ... Read More

69 Comments Filed Under: Faith

24 Lessons I Want To Teach My Daughter (Before She Leaves Home)

January 11, 2015 by Kristen

I sat straight up in bed in the middle of the night, heart pounding. "What is it, honey?" my husband asked groggily. "Do you think she knows not to call boys? Have I told her that yet?" I asked. He sighed. It's hard letting your daughter turn 15. I remember being 15 years old. I think I cried every day that year, always trying to figure out how I fit in a one-size fits-all world. She is more woman than girl now and she longs for independence and understanding. I'm learning to ... Read More

39 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

What Really Happens When We Give Kids Everything They Want

December 29, 2014 by Kristen

"I want it. Why? Because everyone else has it." It's a conversation we've had countless times in our house. It doesn't matter what it's about--the newest technology, the latest fad, the most popular shoes- it's treacherous ground to add it to our want list so we can be like everyone else. These five dangerous words are turning homes upside down. When we give our children everything they want (because everyone else has it), it speeds up their childhood: We have six year olds addicted ... Read More

25 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

Memorable Gifts Kids Won’t Forget

December 15, 2014 by Kristen

I'll never forget the Christmas we gave too many gifts. My kids were around 4 and 6 years old and it was like a marathon of toy-opening and we needed water breaks to get thru it. I'm not even kidding. Most of the gifts were sale or clearance items I'd bought all year and tucked away. It was the season of my life I refer to as "Quantity not Quality." It was all about more--more for me, more for them. It left us with a lot of stuff, including emptiness. As I encouraged my weary kids to ... Read More

14 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

A Letter to My Children on My 20th Wedding Anniversary

December 14, 2014 by Kristen

Hi Kids, This week your dad and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage and I need to tell you a few important things. First of all, twenty years. Your dad married me two days before my 22nd birthday. It was the best birthday of my life. He surprised me on our wedding day and sang to me and we've been making music together since. (Yeah, this officially makes us old. And gross. Keep reading.) You know how as musicians you play a piece over and over again, until you get it right? ... Read More

21 Comments Filed Under: Parenting

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