Kristen Welch

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Living a Paradox: The Truth About A Contradictory Life

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I’ll never forget the moment of clarity I had in the middle of the pasta aisle. It was the day after I returned from a trip to Kenya with my family. I ran into an old friend next to the spaghetti sauce and she hugged me and said, “so, was your trip to Kenya just ah-maazing!?!?”

She drug out the last word and her voice went up and I was afraid to commit. It’s the tone used to describe a memorable vacation in an exotic place with a lot of exclamation points.

Before I could answer, she said, “I bet you just want to give all this up and move there!”

When I answered, I meant to say was, “Yes, we had some amazing moments. But it was also hard.”

Instead what came out was, “On this trip to Kenya, I convinced one of the teen moms not to run away with her tiny baby, we bathed in a bucket because there was a water shortage and counted the hours until we boarded the plane. Oh, and I saw a man die in the middle of the road.”

She couldn’t grab her noodles fast enough.

I was left standing in the pasta aisle thinking don’t make me pick a favorite place. I can love America and Kenya, while I simultaneously dislike certain things about both places. I can do both even though lately it feels like our culture is trying desperately to squeeze us all into a polarizing box.

I live a paradox and you know what? That’s okay.

A couple of weeks ago, I was scrolling on Instagram and stopped when I saw Jessica Honneger’s selfie and a sign that read “Things I can do at the exact same time: Be curvy + Be healthy; Be a teacher + a CEO; Be content + healthy; Shop Fair Trade + Shop Target; Be Scared + Be Brave.”
I loved her list and so did a lot of other people. So, here’s my unfinished list of contradictions:
  1. I can love sweet tea and Keto (loving them at the same time might make one ineffective).
  2. I can not be a cat lover but love the cat that became my college daughter’s roommate
  3. I can protect my immune-compromised kid and let my other kids do high-risk activities.
  4. I can be pro-life and not vote Republican.
  5. I can love immigrants and refugees and not vote Democratic.
  6. I can be politically homeless and love my country.
  7. I can run a non-profit and also have no idea what I’m doing some days.
  8. I can be a storyteller but not a public speaker.
  9. I can choose to wear a mask if it means others around me feel protected even if I’m not convinced of all the science around it.
  10. I can find new hobbies and passions and still binge-watch Netflix.
  11. I can put up boundaries for toxic people and still fiercely love them.
  12. I can see behind the veil of conspiracy theories while I also believe evil is at work in our world.
  13. I can believe in the absolute truth of the Bible and still love my neighbors who don’t.
  14. I can love Muslims and be in relationships with them and not try to “convert” them.
  15. I can anxiously wait for the return of Jesus and also live every day to the fullest.
  16. I can hate recording videos for Mercy House and also look forward to hosting Facebook lives sales for Mercy House.
  17. I can be a smart intelligent woman who also admits I don’t have all the answers.

Friends, let’s refuse to be labeled. We don’t belong in a box!

When Your Soul is Starving

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Guest post by Janel Breitenstein I spoke to two women this week—women I would describe as hungry. Both were choosing tough situations: not situations where they needed to endure, but choices that twanged my heart like a violin string. Choices whose destination would be obvious if they weren’t within them. I found myself wordless. My friends seemed desperate for a safe embrace from me. For acceptance. But my head clanged with warning. Y’know those situations where you wonder if you’ll ... Read More

For When You’re Having a Hard Time Being Human

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I'm rarely at a loss for words. But that's exactly how I've felt the past month every time I've started to write a blog post. I've been sharing my life in this space for a decade now. Ten years. By now, we know each other well. So, you know that when I don't know what to say next, I'm in a weird place. I can say this: I've had a hard time being a human lately. I, mean, I like being human, I'm just not very good at it. I told my husband the other night after a long day that I was ready ... Read More

Sometimes When You’re in a Dark Place You Think You’ve Been Buried, But Actually You’ve Been Planted

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This summer while we were hiking in the mountains one day during our sabbatical, my family wanted to keep climbing. I wanted to hide in the cleft of the rock. It was quiet and beautiful and I took a deep breath, stretched out my legs and rested while they kept going. That's when I saw the small opening in the rocks behind me. I bent down and peeked into the black hole and I was surprised to see bright green plants growing in the darkness. I have thought about those little plants and their bad ... Read More

The Poorest People In The World

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"The bedbugs used to eat my babies but God is God and now they get to sleep," Agnes "I’m thankful that God has given me a new name. I was “that poor woman” but now I have a name," Esther "I was a sex worker but now I’m free and I have a good job making jewelry," Faith "I’m thankful for clean food. I used to only get food from the dump," Papina "I thank God that I can feed my children," Miriam "I’m thankful that I now have more than one dress to wear so I don’t have to wash and dry ... Read More

You Go Where You’re Sent, You Stay Where You’re Put, You Give What You’ve Got Until You’re Done

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I had a meltdown on the subway. I guess it was bound to happen. In less than a week, I'd taken a quick trip to Kenya to show Ann Voskamp around and to bring back new fair trade pieces (rugs! throws!) from our artisans, spent a couple of sleepy days at home juggling all the things and then I was off to New York City to launch Mercy House's first wholesale collection at a Handmade Global Market. It started with my favorite boots. I grabbed a seat on the crowded subway and snuggled up to my ... Read More

I’m Not Okay. And That’s Okay

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I wrote this post more than a year ago about my friend who wasn't okay. This weekend I read my own words again as reminder that even though I'm not okay right now--it's okay. My heart is a mess. I'm tired. I'm trying to figure out how to rest and simultaneously continue... Maybe you need these words too...   I sat on the edge of her bed, and she didn’t even look up. I was visiting a friend who was not okay. It was more than a bad day, it was a sad season for her. But I wasn’t ... Read More

Pain Is Beauty. Beauty Is Pain

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Today, I walked into the salon on the property of the maternity home, funded through Mercy House Global, where the young moms get an in-depth course in hairdressing and beauty as part of the introductory vocational program. They wore matching pink shirts and professional blue aprons that said as much. And they brightened at the "customers" (read: my family) who would help them learn on real people. When they asked what service I wanted, I said a manicure. I left my nails unpolished since ... Read More