This is so hard.
I shut our bedroom door and my husband pulled me close. I tried not to cry.
We had just had a parenting night from hell.
Can I say that here?
Because if you’re a parent, you might just know what I’m talking about.
There was yelling and tears. Hard conversations, hurt feelings, consequences and the symphony of slammed doors.
In less than half an hour and three conversations, we had made three kids angry and unhappy because we are just that good.
Parenting is not for wimps.
If it isn’t hard, maybe we aren’t doing it right? my husband said quietly in my ear.
I let his words sink in. Because too often I believe the lie that says if we were doing this parenting thing right, we wouldn’t fight or disagree or battle over opinions and attitudes. We wouldn’t hurt each other. We would be normal. We would do this better.
And to be honest, parenting would be a lot easier if we didn’t care so much. If we didn’t try so hard. If we didn’t love so fiercely. It would be so much easier not to try and raise grateful kids who put others first, who honor our rules, who strive for purity and holiness, who openly share struggles and failures, who do not give up and choose to follow Christ.
Parenting kids upstream in a downstream world is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
We try to juggle grace and expectations and some nights all the balls come tumbling down.
But just because the road gets bumpy doesn’t mean we are off course. Actually, the right road is bumpy. The correct path does have obstacles and setbacks. The parenting journey is broken and beautiful at the same time.
We both sat on the end of the bed licking our wounds like we’d just waged war. And in a lot of ways we had.
Good parents fight for (and sometimes) with their kids.
Good parents make mistakes and apologize.
Good parents go-against-the-flow even when it would be so much easier to not say what needs to be said or enforce or follow through with what needs to be done.
Good parents cry. And doubt. And wonder. And pray.
Good parents offer grace when it’s least expected and needed the most.
Good parents remind themselves that this too shall pass.
Good parents look hard trials in the face and know they are doing something right.
Good parents recognize even good kids have bad days.
So, don’t give up, Mom. Don’t stop trying, Dad.
Yes, parenting is hard.
Especially when we’re doing it right.
