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Between a Rock and a Hard Place

May 3, 2022 by Kristen

There are rocks in my garden.

Most people take rocks out, but I put rocks in and around each of my raised beds.  They do more than serve as a pathway for my wandering feet. They hold space.

The other day I was tenderly walking on the path barefoot. I stepped on a raised rock that immediately made me stop and reach for it as it was uncomfortable underfoot. I held the smooth stone in my hand and stood there, thinking about the song lyrics that had been rolling around in my head for a week.

And I will build an altar
And stack it stone by stone
‘Cause every Ebenezer says I’ve never been alone
My faith will surely falter
But that don’t change what You’ve done
‘Cause every Ebenezer points to where my help comes from

I don’t regret much in the past decade. I’ve never found it to be productive to wish and wander about how things could have gone or things I should have done. But as I stood holding that rock, I regretted not setting aside rocks to remember every time God has come through in the last dozen years.

In Hebrew, the word Ebenezer means “stone of help.” An Ebenezer moment is when God changes a bad situation around quickly. It’s a reminder of when God intervenes in our lives. We memorialize our loved ones with rocks as a way to remember them; we build statues out of rocks so we don’t forget. Samuel took a stone and set it up . . . and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, “Till now the Lord has helped us.” I Samuel 7:12

As I looked at the thousands of rocks peppering my garden, I thought–this is my Ebenezer. This place where I grow things is a reminder of how I have grown.

Last week, in a moment of deep disappointment and fear, I texted a friend and asked for prayer for my unbelief. I wanted to believe God for a miracle. Another impossibility. It felt like a Red Sea moment–you know the kind: the only way out was forward but I was afraid of what was in front of me.

I can’t imagine the thoughts Moses must have had standing at the edge of the sea with a staff in hand, enemies hot on his track and a God’s people looking for him to lead–to take that step into victory.

He stood firm. God didn’t bring them to this place, this moment to leave them alone. He brought them there to bring them through. It may have looked really bad, but God was in a cloud by day and pillar of fire by night. Obedience led them to this miracle territory.

I wonder if Moses bent down and picked up a rock before he raised his staff and took that step and led his people to freedom. Or when the wall of water crushed his enemies on the other side did he put a smooth stone in his pocket?

I don’t have the miracle yet, but I have stone in hand ready for a rock alter. I’m standing firm. I’m sitting in my garden, counting rocks, stacking them stone by stone, remembering I’ve been here so many times before–never alone.

King David said, the Lord was his rock, his fortress, deliverer, strength, shield, stronghold, and the horn of his salvation (Ps. 18:2)

There’s not another place I’d rather be than between the rock (of ages) and a hard place.

9 Comments Filed Under: Faith

Trust the Process

April 24, 2022 by Kristen

I’ve been having night terrors or nocturnal panic attacks for the past 6 weeks. I fall asleep and wake an hour or two later in confused fear. It’s like my body and mind are out of sync and sometimes it feels like I’m trying to reach the surface from the bottom of the ocean and I run out of breath before I reach the top. Other times it feels like I’m trapped or falling. These nighttime panic attacks are a real blast. When my body catches up to my brain, my eyes pop open and I fly out of bed— ... Read More

29 Comments Filed Under: Faith

An Invitation to Grow

March 22, 2022 by Kristen

2020: When the floor beneath us figuratively disappeared two years ago with the onset of the pandemic, we fought hard to continue the empowering work of Mercy House Global around the globe. 2021: When the floor, walls, and the entire structure of our Transition Maternity Home in Kenya was destroyed in a fire in January 2021, Mercy House Global lost 1/3 of our assets and we begged God to turn beauty out of ashes. 2022: When the floor literally collapsed beneath us two weeks ago in our USA ... Read More

3 Comments Filed Under: My Life

The Day The Floor Gave Way

March 13, 2022 by Kristen

Sometimes you fall down, because there is something down there that you are supposed to find. -Anonymous   When the floor beneath us figuratively and collectively disappeared two years ago, I spent most of my time just trying to stay afloat, afoot, around. I feel like I've been crawling around on the floor in the dark--hands out reaching in the unseen and unknown, feeling, not finding.  Months have turned to years, waiting, wondering, worrying, wishing for a normal that has been ... Read More

9 Comments Filed Under: My Life

Uninvovled Parenting: How Not To Be an Uninvolved Parent

February 15, 2022 by Kristen

Uninvovled Parenting

I've discovered the secret to raising, happy, grateful and successful kids.. Lean in and I'll tell you...It doesn't exist. Every home and every kid is different. That's one of the things that makes family life so amazing and challenging--we are all unique! There are no two famlies exactly alike. What works for one, might not work for the other. We are all doing the best we can. But I'm all ears when I hear what works for someone else because you never know–it might work for my family ... Read More

1 Comment Filed Under: Parenting

Everything You Need to Know about Gentle Parenting

February 3, 2022 by Kristen

Everything You Need to Know About Gentle Parenting

In my first few years of adjusting to motherhood, I made a lot of mistakes (and I’m not referring to buying a “colic machine” that vibrated my crying baby’s crib. Scam. I got a refund). I worried a lot and second-guessed myself. Why is she crying? Is she hungry? Why won’t she sleep? I struggled with trying to control this new little human. Some days I spent hours trying to get my baby to sleep and other days I would go to great lengths to wake my sleeping baby so I could feed her. My ... Read More

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Parenting

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